I received an email from Bella Cucina and I saved it, thinking, “That’s just lovely. I should tuck it away for inspiration.” Before I could share it with anyone I got another email from them and oh-my-holy-fucking-jutting-sternum!

This is the best they could come up with to proffer gourmet goods through my monitor? I’m not sure how she’s managing to hold the platter up, or strike that, how she can hold herself up. I suppose in its intended context, the gnarly bones poking through her paper thinskin echo the swirls of the pretty embellishment at the top of the email, but still, not what I want to see first thing.

Then again, I suppose if women in Hollywood are looking like this, it makes sense they’d think the way to push food is through identityless breasts on bones.