Making Faces

First, for those of you who've been as annoyed as I have by the obnoxious profile photo I've been using, which, when viewed in context didn't seem nearly so annoying, rest assured I've changed it. I commented on a lot of new blogs, I wonder if they all thought I wasn't worth a click.

What you used to see:


What you now see:


And what you can't see in what you now see:


I know, I cropped out the precious Fin and the kicky foot of Ave. The thing about having three kids is that there is incredible guilt in not including everyone, not keeping everything totally equal, which of course is impossible, but the person that I am has me trying. And failing. Which gets me the long way to today's post.

Yesterday was hard. Very, very hard. It began with fighting toddlers in the morning, followed by a weepy, clingy baby at drop off, followed by one resignation and one termination at work, followed by a disappointment, capped with one of those I-don't-know-what-to-make-for-dinner-and-frankly-I'm-not-hungry-and-don't-want-to-be-responsible-for-your-dinnner kind of nights. Yay.

It is very rare (thank you mind) that I dwell on the sort of life-fatigue associated with parenting. The relentless battle of bedtime, the unrelenting sense of futility at the dinner table and the selfish, but no less real, "Oh my god can I just catch a break and watch What Not to Wear in peace for one Friday night?" feeling, which I'll tell you, is a humiliating thing to give voice to when asked by a supportive husband, "Babe, what exactly is it that's bothering you?"

Then there is the guilt of the morning after having them all nap, their faces an exquisite study in calm and innocence. I love them beyond measure and yet yesterday was a day that for all the world I just could not make into a positive thing. And so it is that today I've put up a fresh profile shot and deliciously whiled away nap time with this post, this unbelievably stress reducing, joy inducing post.

Anyone else want a turn to vent? Go ahead, I'd love to hear it!