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Lonely

Posted on June 28, 2011

I have three friends suffering right now. Their stories are all distinct, and in truth I don’t know the whole of any of them, but I know enough to see and hear that they are in pain. Family, self, struggle. We all have things that weigh upon us more heavily than they might others, but it’s in those shifts and varying colors that the true beauty of each of us lives. I find myself wishing I had just the right thing to say, the perfect gesture to make or the power to fix it. Instead I try to be steady in my presence. A few days ago I caught a glimpse of something in the sky that tickled at my subconscious. It felt like…

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Where I’m From

Posted on June 24, 2011

I am from dirt trails, from multi-colored super balls raced in rain-flooded gutters and tunnels carved through wild raspberry bushes. I am from the orange house with the soaring views and quirky angles, perched on the edge of the hill, toward the end of the dead end street, past the plum trees and tiny houses to where the sky opens above. I am from the sunlight between willow trees and evergreens, the purple burst of blossom on the hearty rhododendron bush and then later, from the perfume of the orchards dancing on the cool breeze at sundown. I am from late night puzzles and last minute genius, from Annie-bird and B. Davie and the creator of the cool walk. I am from the irreverent…

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Unloc(h)ed

Posted on June 23, 2011

I knew it would have to happen eventually. We flirted with it in principle, then it became more pressing, something that had to move beyond concept and actually take place. I am, of course, talking about cutting Finley’s hair. She turned 3 in late April and has never had a haircut. How do you touch this? Finally she turned to me and said, “Mom, can we go to the mall and get my haircut?” My jaw dropped and then I spied her sisters. I realized that they knew I would do this and that conveniently located at the mall is a bounce house dungeon, I mean palace. “Of course we can.” I squeaked. You see her hair, though I worship every corkscrew and wisp,…

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Rising

Posted on June 21, 2011

Yesterday a friend from my Yakima days shared something on Facebook that I immediately felt was speaking directly to me. It said: Love one another and you will be happy. It is as simple and difficult as that. ~Leunig I don’t write about it here very often because it seems like if you want to find tragic, angry, bitter posts there are plenty of outlets, but the truth is I often get worried that if I don’t do things in a certain way than I am failing. Twisting my perspective to consider that by simply loving I am doing it right is revelatory. Lately things have been challenging. Our child care situation is dicey and by dicey, I mean we have none. I have…

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Stripes

Posted on June 19, 2011

They say you have to earn your stripes. I never imagined when I met you that 12 years later I’d be typing away in bed to try and articulate how and why I am grateful for the dad that you are to our daughters. Daughters! Three times over. We were just going to date… You are a wonderful dad, as proclaimed by Briar, just hours off of losing her 7th tooth (the second this week!) “Dad is so good at drawing, ‘specially the tooth fairy maps and letters.”The s sounds were all dusted with a no-upper-front-teeth lisp which made my heart splinter and my hand reach for you. So often, that, a turn, an intake of breath or a mental note, “…tell Sean.” And…

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