I wish I could remember more clearly the moment I decided to begin blogging because I now know that it was a literal turning point in my life. I found my voice, which sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. I let my fingers play at the keys, exploring each little black square to find the precise words as I made my way to that moment when I would hit send. I remember, and I am not ashamed to say it, returning the next day to see if anyone had found me.
There were plenty of days (weeks and months actually) when no one came. I kept writing. Then people did come and one person in particular, at first I knew her as Flutter. She would leave tender sighs and sweet murmurs about the life I was chronicling. Then, as time passed, she would talk about the girls by name, recalling traits of theirs and, in a way, creating a family-like sense of familiarity with Sean and my girls. It was one of my early blogging friendships, and I treasure it. Treasure her.
Flutter, as many of you know, is Christine. Passionate, bitingly sarcastic, wickedly funny and brutally honest. I remember clicking over to her blog and reading her stories, so different from my own. Often times she would write about the past or about a future she hoped to reach. I always seemed to comment with something related to flight, thinking of her moniker, delicate though it was, in terms of strength and possibility.
When I met her face to face I remember thinking that she was the kind of woman who swishes. Stop rolling your eyes Christine, I get to think of you what I will. Her eyes were so wide, and her lashes curled out at the sides as her perfectly painted lips cracked in a wide smile and then her strong voice came out. She gently pushed her hair over her shoulder and the hem of her dress swirled as we walked across the large room. I felt at once protected and emboldened. Also a little intimidated. She was so much more in person that I expected and yet exactly, perfectly Flutter.
Over time her comments on my blog(s) and her posts on her own shifted. Sorrow, fear and anger began to give way to humor and love. She had talked about Clay before, but usually it was in a way to suggest that he supported her. When the beams of comedy came through, I got to know couple of smart asses goofing off and genuinely reveling in each other. It felt so good thinking of Christine in this light-filled life, laughter bouncing off the walls, eventually a sweet hound careening through the house.
Now the day is fast approaching when Christine and Clay will marry. I have no doubt that there will be laughter and tears, golden hues and midnight tones. I won’t be there to tear up as she walks toward him, but I will be here wishing them both the deepest, most contented sighs as they meet their first dawn as a married couple.
Love to you both.
See more love here.
Tagged: friendship
Amen, sister, amen.
Aw, so nice.
You were and are and always will be one of the biggest blessings I’ve had from blogging. I simply stand in awe of you
XO!
It is so cool? No, not the right word. Surreal. That’s better. It is so surreal to see what people that I have never met before write about my sister. She has always been the artsy one in the family. She is a wordsmith, artist,and crafty chick. She is wicked smaht (say it like your from Chicago)and hilarious. But she is an ass kicker too. Funny that you say you felt protected around her. She has always championed for me and helped me find my VOICE. So though I don’t know you, I completely agree with you. And don’t worry about not being there, you will live it through her pictures and the story that will come along with them. Thank you for loving my sister, Deb
Thanks for sharing her!
I intentionally stay away from the blog stuff because that isn’t my space and I tend to keep to myself. Thanks for what you did here, I think it is great. I have to say this is an accurate account of who Christine is and what she is about. She is so many things to me which cannot be described in this space. The constraints of this space will simply not allow for it.
Deb is a mess but she’s not so bad either.
You’re a good one, Clay. Best wishes for a life filled with laughter, love and ridiculous shenanigans that you both share with the rest of us on Facebook.
oh my goodness, the comments from clay and c.’s sister are priceless!
and this, a., is beautiful.
I found her, as well, back in the beginning. You as well. We all just clicked, and the two of you have been there for me in ways innumerable.
Christine and Clay, I wish you the absolute best that this life can offer . . .
This is wonderful. I teared up, and it’s not even about me. 😉
I couldn’t agree more! So very happy for our gal.
What an amazing tribute to such a beautiful being!
It’s funny how you mention the light so much, because that is how I think of her, too. Lightness and joy.
I wish them both the very best that this crazy thing called life has to offer.
<3
I’m just always in awe of the true connections that are made just by following each other around the internet.