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Witching Hour

Posted on October 30, 2013

“What do you think the girls will remember about their childhood,” I asked Sean. We were on the couch and I’d been staring up at the wall, remembering the story behind each piece of wood. I thought about the nights I would work on it long after the girls had gone to bed, their favorite pieces painstakingly arranged for me to install. This wall has become our mark on this house and I wondered if it would stay with the girls. “The boat,” he said without hesitation. “I think they’ll remember the boat.” He stared off; I imagined he was thinking about the different memories of Lake George, some from his own childhood. Along the wall there are shelves, I looked at one with…

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New York State of Mind

Posted on October 25, 2013

I had a former employee stop by the office this morning. He has a one year old son now and was remarking, “Amanda, I don’t know what I did with all my free time before having Julian. I mean, I certainly wasn’t productive with it. There was so much time.” We nodded and laughed, then he said, “It’s amazing. Having a kid, it just changes you forever. Changes everything.” I’d never seen him smile with such delight (unless he was mid-prank). As we hugged goodbye and promised to find a time to have the little guy visit, I felt so grateful that I’d had a sweet morning with the girls. It wasn’t harried, I didn’t feel overtired. The girls were in great moods. They…

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Worth the Wait

Posted on October 22, 2013

“Can we wear our Hawaiian dresses?” Avery asked me. “We’re going to have to wait and see what the weather does,” I explained. “Or wait, wait, wait, can I wear my Halloween costume? Can I be a Grecian Goddess at the wedding?” Finley gasped. “Well, I think maybe we should keep your costume for Halloween,” I said. “But mom they aren’t going to wear dresses and I could help the ceremony have a white gown. Nana even loves my costume.” Briar chortled in the corner, “Good luck with that, mom.” “Listen girls, Nana and Jeannie are going to let you know what you can do at the wedding and I am going to let you know what you can wear. Ok?” They nodded. We…

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1000 Words on Love

Posted on October 15, 2013

I picked the girls up at Nana’s the other day. Just as I got there she said, “Come here, come here, you just gotta see this. You won’t believe what the girls did. It’s just so cool.” I followed her through a little hallway and around a corner. She was bouncing with excitement. She started pointing and clapping her hand on her mouth, giggles popping out in between, “Can you believe it?” She stepped aside and gestured to the tv stand. “Amanda, they cut their hair and put them right there. They said it was us in love. Can you, can you even believe that,” her wonder at the matter of fact acceptance is still potent. She pointed back and forth for me for…

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Home and Back

Posted on October 11, 2013

I take the girls to the bus stop each morning and thenI drive to work. Each night we talk about our day at the dinner table, the time is usually filled with the girls’ stories, which never fail to require getting up from the table and going through very extended and physically dramatic retellings. It goes beyond hand talking to whole body retelling. Later, as we tuck them in, they brush their noses against mine, or trace their fingers along my face and say, “Tell me about your day. What did you do?” It can be so hard to explain. Did I really only write emails and take phone calls? It’s me asking this, not them, though I imagine they must wonder how that…

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