We are a few weeks from diving headlong into a kitchen renovation. It will be a small business owner’s mix of paying professionals for their skills and then doing a bit of grunt work ourselves to keep costs down and our pride in check as we can’t seem to feel good about anything with which we didn’t do some of the work. Still, kitchens are expensive no matter how you slice it.
I would love to buy all new appliances as the ones that we have, fairly recently purchased though they are, present daily nightmares. The stove is one of those flat surface, can’t-ever-be-truly-clean abominations. Only one burner truly works and the whizz-bang sensor buttons don’t seem to read a gentle press, so we’re forced to jab at it accusingly, “Why won’t you turn up to 350, damnit, why?”
The refrigerator doors do not close without an emphatic slam, sometimes even just popping back out as if mocking us. The freezer door has had two issues related to a design flaw, which resulted in massive, thick slabs of ice forming in the bottom and trapping errant peas like beetles in amber. The service was covered but came in that universally inconvenient, “a technician will be to your house between the hours of 7am and 2pm. Can you have someone at home during those hours?”
I can handle the fridge because we have, as Sean calls it, the “Hey dimwit, you left the door open again,” alarm. Although truth be told ‘dim wit’ is not exactly the word he uses and technically when it goes off after the girls have left the door open, they are so far out of earshot that it serves no purpose. Still, I can hang. Same goes for the oven/stove because I’ve learned to make one burner meals.
The dishwasher though, that’s an entirely different story. This particular appliance is a magical gateway into things that the kids can do themselves. They can work collaboratively; they can cross something off the list in minutes, except when they run the risk of knives hitting them or glasses falling. And so it is that I unload the dishes and then they put them away. Extra step inefficiencies are my favorite.
I don’t do much video (noted easily by the use of a vertical instead of horizontal frame) and I try not to do much complaining, but this felt like it might have the potential to be a crossover hit, melding frustration, absurdity, and, “Hey, my life is discombobulated like that too!” You can’t see the cracked buttons or the wonky detergent holder, but I think you’ll get the idea.
I feel about dishwashers the way that I do about panty hose, no matter how much I pay, they will disappoint me. My friend Liv swears that a Bosch won’t do this to me. So tell me, are all dishwashers just a complete scam?
Dishwashers are delightful and necessary. Ours has that skinny little flat tray for silverware, up top, which I thought was silly but have become inordinately fond of.
I want to inordinately fond of something related to my dishwasher. I think it being gone would be a great start.
I live happily without a dishwasher. After living years with a dishwasher and now for two years without, I’ll never install one in my home. I don’t miss a dishwasher one bit.
You are probably really on to something. The summer that I worked as a carpenter in Santa Maria, California I didn’t have a dishwasher and I found it a bit zen to hand wash the dishes.
Laughing and commiserating! The video is a priceless addition to this piece too. We just had our new dishwasher installed last Wednesday…a Bosch. Gotta say it’s quite stealth when it’s running (and sexy). And—no more leaks!!!
Briar’s embarrassment kills me, potent foreshadowing of things to come.
Miele. So $$. So nice. So quiet. So in love.
You get what you pay for, no?
Although, damnit, this wasn’t the cheapest by any stretch.
We got a stupid, stupid, stupid (!) LG dishwasher. The most expensive one in the store. Oh yes, I would not spare any expense when it comes to my kitchen appliances.
Well, it is total crap!! It takes two hours to run a load regardless of cycle choice. I can choose Sterilize or Quick Wash and guess what? Two hours!!
I hate it. But it is only two years old… I will have to wait a long time before I can replace the mangler…
I remember loudly declaring how much I hated our dishwasher. Sean looked at me as if I’d been too harsh. I’ll never forget the day he joined me in my complete disappointment and frustration in the poor design, poor quality, and waste of space and money this Whirlpool monstrosity has been!
Once you go Bosch, you never go back.
So I hear, wow!
We have one of those fancy European dishwashers. The thing is beautiful and quiet and I fell in love with it immediately. Until I made rice. And then the fucker can’t drain because the drain lines can’t fit a piece of fucking rice through them. Daily for YEARS now I fish the fucking rice out of putrid dishwasher water to make the fucking thing run. But then it’s so quiet and shiny again.
It’s like having a dog – they are adorable but messy and the adorable makes you keep them even though you’d wish you bought a Maytag(cat) instead.
You’re the real thing, Tracy. xo
Oh, thank God it’s not just me. I don’t like to hand wash them because I forever have either dirty dishes or clean ones all over the counter and 4 people make an extraordinary amount of dirty dishes. And the dishwasher makes me crazy – it leaks, there’s always something not clean and (since we don’t have one that is under the counter) it takes up the entire kitchen while it’s running. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Wonderful blog! Do you have any suggestions for
aspiring writers? I’m hoping to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option?
There are so many options out there that I’m completely confused ..
Any suggestions? Appreciate it!