I woke up this morning to Finley spooning me. Her face was close enough that my hair fluttered as she sighed. I kept my eyes closed because I wasn’t ready. She ran her finger up and over my shoulder again and again. I listened, the house was quiet but for the ceiling fans running. “Where are your sisters?” I murmured softly enough that she’d know I still wasn’t committed to waking up. “Briar is downstairs, when I looked for Ave I couldn’t find her in her bed. Did Dad leave?” I nodded, she hugged me tighter. I cracked an eye, she beamed at me. I tried to keep it open, but the pull of sleep and the resistance to all that the day would…
Posts tagged “backyard”
I am guilty, from time to time, of trying to be an architect of memories, thinking that if I arrange the art project just so or if I plan the adventure out with care, then I can slip moments in time in each girl’s heart that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. I work at creating these moments like a puzzle, turning ideas in my mind, sorting options, and then putting my head down until I make the pieces fit. The weight of wanting, needing, to nurture memories can be tremendous. Every once in a while something happens and I am completely awestruck by how the girls are memory tenders themselves. “Hey mom, can you wake me up early to work on the…
Have you seen this post making the rounds? At first glance it could easily be written off as one of those easier-said-than-done, lofty, self-improvement posts that only make you feel worse about yourself, but then you hit number 13 and think, “This was written by a human with real emotions,” and then you read something like this article on aging parents and you consider the space you are occupying between having survived the heady, ignorant decade of your twenties and peeking toward your 40s, when your kids (or the kids) are moving ever more colorfully and dynamically toward autonomy and you are settling into a place that is neither young nor old, a middleness to fight, blend into or what? How do you really…
Categories: Love
Tagged: backyard, daughters, family, forgiveness, life
Slowly but surely I am accepting that I cannot be the architect of my girls’ childhood—I can participate, do what I can to guide them, but they’ll draw their own conclusions, find their own joy and build their own memories. What I can do is give them an incredible backdrop and template for believing in using your strength, smarts and imagination to do whatever you want. It was for all these reasons that last summer we built the girls a club house. We picked a site. We drew up some plans. We purchased supplies at Lowes (our second home). We built into the space. Literally. Finley kept the wood hydrated. We got sentimental as we planned to use a window from our first house.…
Categories: Random
Tagged: Adirondacks, backyard, DIY
I put aside a lot today to just allow the kids to run with friends. The whole group needed to cut loose and they did. I watched them attack the opportunities and leave behind the whining, I-can’ts and no-fairs. I tried to do the same thing. I set my worries in a figurative crucible, it felt a bit reckless, but I realized that my analyzing and murmuring had done nothing to solve them, better to let them stew in their own foulness away from the potent and pure demands of outdoor frolicking. There were snacks and MacGyver fixes for the things they wanted to do, there was help with contemplating how to capture a falcon and there were theatrics when a handful of spiders…
Categories: Me