Posts tagged “forgiveness

Meaning It

Posted on September 23, 2012

When I was in high school I had three very close friends. We would link arms in the hallway, while away hours outside of school playing Marco Polo and wondering wistfully about boys we had crushes on—it was a very sweet, simple time. Before things became marred by attacks, irrational boyfriends and the inevitable growing apart that happens in those emotion fraught years, there was very little that disturbed our union. Looking back, I see four girls who found comfort in one another, confiding about struggles with siblings or parents, building each other up with the ability to see one another’s strengths. I also see a younger version of myself who was quick to feel slighted and had a tendency toward not believing she…

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Heartache shuffle

Posted on June 12, 2012

I suppose it’s to be expected that as we hurtle through graduations, funerals and deadlines, I’m a touch sentimental. The lump in my throat has come to be a constant companion—nervous before a presentation? There it is, clawing its way up and trying to make me crack, tears stinging at my eyes. Quickly annoyance surges and I suppress the tears. Standing on the playground, hands ready to shadow the twisting torso as it moves along the monkey bars, then comes the shake of the head, the kick of the leg and away she goes, leaving my hands empty and my face burning. The lump in my throat roots me in place, keeps me from following along to give help where none is required. As…

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Let’s Not

Posted on May 22, 2012

Have you seen this post making the rounds? At first glance it could easily be written off as one of those easier-said-than-done, lofty, self-improvement posts that only make you feel worse about yourself, but then you hit number 13 and think, “This was written by a human with real emotions,” and then you read something like this article on aging parents and you consider the space you are occupying between having survived the heady, ignorant decade of your twenties and peeking toward your 40s, when your kids (or the kids) are moving ever more colorfully and dynamically toward autonomy and you are settling into a place that is neither young nor old, a middleness to fight, blend into or what? How do you really…

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The truth about the truth

Posted on December 20, 2011

Holidays bring out the ache in even the oldest wounds, don’t they? I actually love twitter and facebook for that, they remind us through bite sized exclaims and updates that we all hurt. I’ve seen people talking about Christmas cries, aided by The Family Stone and Love Actually, and others talking about confronting estrangement, again. Before you know it your own worries are benched as you reach out to someone to day, “Eventually it will be more ok than it is today.” I think we tend to get really angry at ourselves for not feeling all-consuming gratitude and goodwill during the holidays. How shallow? How weak? Just get over it! No, how normal! The truth is with a time so chock full of expectation and…

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