Yup. I blew it. Yesterday was our two year anniversary.

“Deedley-Beep, ” went my phone.

“Let a guy buy ya a cup of anniversary joe?” he says with playful air.

“Ah, crap.” I said without hitting the talk button, my head lowered, eyes closed, feeling like failure and it wasn’t even 10am. My co-workers were shocked I hadn’t remembered. More still when they asked how many years it had been and I had to think. Please! We were together several years before we got married and in the 2 that we have been married we have bought and renovated a house, changed jobs 2x, started a business, had a baby and generally just done way more than you can really believe. Doesn’t seem possible it’s only been 2 years.

I kept promising myself I’d pull something together by the end of the day. The hours just kept slipping through my fingers like the finest grains of sand.

C’mon, though, why did we have to get married so soon after Father’s Day. Damn, I just wasn’t thinking about that back then. Just last week I was feeling like super-incredible wife/mom after getting a super cool techno gadgety thing for Sean. I did not buy him clothes or something dorky that I wanted. I listened, planned, researched, agonized and then did it. So proud of myself. Then I totally dropped the anniversary ball.

In my defense (or just to explain) I am certifiably bad with dates and details. Sean can remember what I was wearing on such and such date in our history, or things I said. He has an incredible memory. I am lucky if I remember the year we met. I am envious of his ability to recall personal details. It’s not because I don’t care that I can’t, I just store different information. Granted some of it is useless celebrity trivia or calorie counts of food products, but there are other things that come in handy. None come to mind right at this moment, but they do exist.

Struggling to think of something…How about remembering to tuck an allergy pill in his pocket? Or stowing food in the car for trips? Sometimes I come through by scrounging together ingredients for an impromptu gift for someone. I remember pretty non-romantic practical stuff.

Ok, so I am not sentimental with dates, but I am quick with a compliment or sweet nothings whispered in his ear. I have saved every card he has ever given me. Until Hotmail deleted them all, I had saved every email he ever sent me. And there were a lot after our two years of x-country living. Anyway, back to my monumental failure last night.

I had suggested take out from our favorite dive bar, but it was just so damn hot and sticky that it wasn’t appealing. We had gone for a run and Briar was out cold. So I offered to hit the store for salad fixin’s, nice and cold, right? I got home and put chicken to saute on the stove and saw our neighbors out on their porch. It was about 7. We had been meaning to talk to them about helping with our dogs, so I thought I’d dash over and get it taken care of. Well, 5 minutes turned to 15 as they cooed over Briar. Then the neighbors from across the street came over. It was 40 minutes before I got back. Sean had since taken over where I left off in the kitchen.

Kind of joking I said, “Are you mad?”

“Why? Because it’s our anniversary and you are spending it over on the neighbors’ porch?” he said as he did something with the salad stuff.

Argh! I thought I was doing a good thing. I thought we were not taking the day too seriously. He bought me coffee, but there was no card. No flowers. I had no idea that it was to be a special night. Then it was bath time for Briar, then the process of putting her to bed and on and on.
While he was tending to Briar I put the rest of dinner together, fed the dogs and lit two candles. The fan kept stoking the flames to a height that is probably not advisable. Sean actually laughed when he came down and saw them.

I hope I didn’t really hurt his feelings. I know I can be hard sometimes. I go back and forth between being totally supportive of the business, saying I can handle everything and then asking how the hell I am supposed to do it all and have anything left. I honestly think we are getting to a pretty amazing place: trusting one another to talk us down or cheer us up, relying on one another, laughing, playing, and pushing.

Thank god for this trip we are going to take. I hope that getting us out of town will take away the constant weight of supporting a new business.

Thank god for Briar too. Being parents is a lot of work, but only when you look at it after the fact. The doing is so joyous. Even when she is “jack knifing” as Sean tries to change her diaper (which I will concede makes it exceptionally challenging, especially when it is more than just pee) you have to love it. She is so feisty and engaging. More fun every day.

Well, got to go do a mailing for work and get web content done for Sean. It’s hard being so busy, but it is so much better than being bored.