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Rainy Monday

Posted on September 26, 2005

Briar woke up at 1:25am. Screaming. Standing in her crib, grasping the rails and just screaming. My eyes felt like they were being slashed with razor blades. You’d think I’d get used to the middle of the night cries and they’d stop hurting so much. But no, it was like I was back in week four of her life and it felt as if I was enduring prolonged sleep deprivation at the hands of a capricious and malevolent creature. Not to say that I don’t and haven’t always adored Briar, but those early months take you to the brink of insanity with the sleepless nights. I woke up this morning with a sinking feeling in my stomach, remembering those razor blades… Yep. I slept…

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How Lucky Can I Be?

Posted on September 24, 2005

Every day. I get to be with Briar for some amount of time every day. Every day she looks up at me and fills me with hope and joy.She has changed everything. I hope when she looks at me she sees everything. I wish I could keep her safe her whole life. Make sure know one ever hurts her.Never let her feel snubbed, or attacked. Protect her from sadness and loneliness. You look around the world today and realize that there are just no guarantees. The one promise I can make Briar is that I will always love her and bring her as much joy and protection as I can. Again, it astounds me how badly loving her hurts. And, what sweet pain it…

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By Dawn’s Early Light

Posted on September 24, 2005

Briar has for the last week or two, taken to waking up with a start anytime between 3 and 5am.She arches her back and wails at the top of her lungs. Totally inconsolable. It seems to be an uncomfortable gas issue so we take turns patting her bottom, rubbing her belly and just soothing her. But honestly, it’s tough. You’re exhausted. Excuse me, I am exhausted. Sean as well. You want to help, but good lord, you want to go back to sleep too. This morning when it happened, surprisingly, I wasn’t writhing in agony from the burning in my eyes, or the early pulsing of one of those, “Man, I slept lousy last night!” headaches. I actually felt pretty lucid and not entirely…

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Grandmas, Nanas, and Cioccis

Posted on September 24, 2005

This is going to be quick as I am trying to cook dinner and squeeze in an entry. So Briar had her Yakima Grandma out here for a week.Quite a pair, the two of them. Singing. Throwing their hands in the air above their heads. Squealing. Screeching.Laughing.Just generally making, “Boy do I have fun making noise with you” sounds.Oh and there were some pretty adorable naps. Tonight we took Briar over to see her Nana Jan and Ciocci (sp?) Jeannie. Briar needs to hang with all her different peeps.Who else would she have eaten Velveeta cheese with as she danced to Shania Twain? Relatives are so strange and so magical. Briar is a lucky little girl. And I am a hungry little mama. Mmm,…

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When Ya Gonna Ring It?

Posted on September 23, 2005

Two things to know about La Casa de los Magees: I hate the doorbell song. Briar loves to operate her portable radio/cd player. I’d bet money Sean and Abbie both know what song was playing to cause her to curl up with such delight and somehow had a direct hand in coaching her to seek out this particular ditty.

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