Ah, CCE, you got me. Exactly one week ago I got this:

I’ve tagged you today over at my place so when you’re open again for business go check it out.

The tag was, wait for it, to list five goals that have been left largely ignored. How pathetic that I failed to respond to this tag? And it’s from CCE, she of the hysterical $180 circus tickets, my kindred spirit in the lonely and often futile battle against trans fats, HFCS, and checkstand teeth rot nuggets. She’s cool, and cool doesn’t often come equipped with smart and funny or dressed in killer jeans.

I’ll promise to waste not another minute if you promise not to be grossed out.

1. Flossing. I even bought those little plastic implements of torture with the floss cued up in a mini-spear, complete with a sharp end for parrying with lilliputian knights. Alas, now instead of long forgotten square containers of floss becoming gummy behind toilets, I have little baggies of sharp things that at once make me feel like a failure and howl with pain as they puncture the little Ziploc bag I store them in and make their way into the unmatched socks, forgotten until they pierce the only just healed cuticles, of my swollen, chewed finger tips.

2. Ah, cleaning behind the toilets, though this doesn’t technically count because I am not foolish enough to put such an uncrossoffable on my list.

3. Matching the unmatched socks in the bin…fuck it, let’s be real, it’s a barrel. Guess what, this tag didn’t get answered Friday night because I matched the 55 gallon drum of unmatched socks.

4. Put together the scrapbook from our wedding, engagement and the births of our two girls. I made that a mega unmet goal instead of four. How do you like them apples?

5. Wear any of the fineries in my little drawer of unmentionables. Sigh.

So CCE, there you finally have it.

If anyone out there feels the need for this exercise that allows you to free your inner “I suck” voice, shoot me an email at briars_mama at yahoo dot com and I’ll unleash the wrath of this little activity for you.