Sometimes this parenting a toddler thing feels like a big old game of chicken. You have to be consistent, patient & straight faced.

“Hey Briar, do you need to poop?”


Ten minutes later.

“You wanna sit on the potty and try and poop?”


30 minutes later.

“How about we sit on the toilet and you try and go poop?”

“No, tank yooo very much, Mom.”

20 minutes later.



45 minutes later.

“Mom, are you hold me and give me a fresh diaper?”

“Oh no, did you poop?”

“Are you hold me?”

“Did you poop?”

“Are you hold me and give me fresh diaper?”

“Oh, Briar, why did you poop in your diaper?”

She smiles.

“Fresh diaper?”


Pulling down her pants I see the sitter gave her a big girl diaper.

“Briar, you have on a princess diaper, that means you went on the potty.”

“I go on the potty at Jen’s.”

“Why don’t you at home?”

Another smile. I am annoyed.

“This is baby stuff Briar.”

More smiling. Damn her, little brat.

“Oh Briar. Next time tell mama.”

She smiles, it’s a long slow smile. If I didn’t know her bowel was empty I’d think she was about to drop torpedoes 2 & 3.

“I did the biggest nasty in mine diaper.”

I lose the game of chicken as I snort and throw my head back.