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My daughter

Posted on May 18, 2007

I was checking an all but obsolete Hotmail account I used back in college. Hi AmandaThat was what the subject line said. I hesitated for a moment, spammers have gotten so crafty, but I decided to click it anyway. I know, I live on the edge. It was from a guy I went to school with, back when I was very, ahem, unfocused, and he was, well he was focused. He was more than that, he seemed to be operating on a different plane. He had a calmness, a wisdom and an ability to accept things and people in ways that the rest of us in the department simply did not. He was mature (Ok, let me amend that because he doesn’t sound human.…

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My Happy Day

Posted on May 16, 2007

Add to the list of things I don’t dive into with the fervor of some moms: first birthdays. It seems so silly to create posed vignettes of celebration. I think second birthdays, and a child’s ability to enjoy them are much more appropriate for a big fuss. However, as is wont to happen in this grand trip called parenting I had what I knew turned on its ear last night by a toddler and a 1 year old. Turns out with two, the first birthday is a true celebration, fraught though it may be with heart breaking envy and hurt. Singing. Playing. Feasting. And, of course, belly button play. Happy Birthday Averrific. A Happy Day for all of us.

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The One

Posted on May 15, 2007

I’ve tried to write this over and over again. There is so much I want to tell you. I want to tell you about the sound of your voice, the throaty whisper you have. I want to tell you about how you wait to answer questions, almost as if gauging just how much we want to hear you say something. You call Briar “bawbee” and are fascinated by donkeys. You love cucumbers and carrots, but you hate tomatoes and strawberries. I want to tell you about brushing your teeth tonight. You wanted to touch the light, so I let you. Somehow you made the center bulb work again, it hadn’t in months. We were both so surprised by the light. You laughed and looked…

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You’re my Avetastic

Posted on May 15, 2007

1 year. 365 good night kisses, with thousands more for good measure. And yet, just one year. Was there really a time before you? We four fit so perfectly it feels as though we must have come into this world together. You, sweet Avery, came with gusto. You were strong in my belly and you were strong on your way out. Your journey to our arms was fierce, with the two of us working together, while your dad cheered us on. I think you’re a little like me with your strength. You are so able to do things yourself. Sometimes at night you actually look at me with the sweetest I love you as you roll away and make me understand you need to…

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Pretty Frocks and Herding Flocks

Posted on May 15, 2007

I’m a tomboy mom. Matching socks to skirts, headbands to shirts, and making sure everything is in order just isn’t me. I remember the oohs and ahs when we shared that we were pregnant with Briar. The word girl would barely be out of my mouth before women would squeal about a daughter. Oh the dresses! The hats, the dolls! Years and years to come of pink this, pink that girlie, girlie, girlie. Pant, pant, pant. And then the inevitable I always wanted a girl, longed for one in fact.I’m not trying to make light of unrealized dreams, I just never gave the gender much thought beyond suspecting that my mom was right, I’d be a mother of boys. Ha! Here I am with…

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