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We’re Up…

Posted on July 26, 2007

After two nights of fitful sleeping with mews barely as loud as a whisper piercing my soul, Briar has turned a corner and is feeling almost herself again. Almost because there is still a translucence to her skin and an impossible sweetness to everything that she does, that is too good, too sweet. Not my girl, for she is more. More alive, more intense, just more. I love her as sweet, gentle and tender, but it’s her fire that delights me. Her iron will, her strength of purpose and direction even when it involves pens, a white wall, teeth and my favorite book. She is my Briar, in the mend, but not quite back. Brace for a post on the return of my spirited…

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Off the Wall-Mart

Posted on July 26, 2007

I just came back from Wal-Mart.It is 11:41EST. I am a changed woman. I normally shop at one of the many Hannafords in our area. I appreciate their plentiful organics section and the generally consistent peculiarities of their staff. I can scan the check outs and know which people will ignore, which will whiz me through, and which will dance on my last nerve and have me contemplating a life of solitude, willing to sacrifice coffee and peanut butter to just get the hell away. I don’t have this security with Wal-Mart and frankly the ability of a place to have a parking lot filled to capacity every single time I have ever driven by just weirds me out. Two kids in diapers and…

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Like No Other

Posted on July 24, 2007

Among the items consistently left off of the Things that will forever change after you become a parent list: A kind of helplessness that steals your very breath I feel restless, my hands desperate to help, I search her face for some sign, some indication of what I can do, but there is nothing. I sit with her, those wide blue eyes, glassy and still, her cheeks burning with fever, the delicate skin marred by flurries of angry looking rash. Her soft ringlets lay flat, sticking in clammy swirls along her brow. She has no appetite to speak of, crying softly and then, worse, slipping into silence and drifting far away, unable to sleep, but too weary to play. We are trapped, she and…

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Use it or lose it

Posted on July 23, 2007

We live in the Adirondacks, it’s literally a twenty minute drive to what is arguably some of the world’s most beautiful terrain. I will own not getting out there nearly enough, which then entitles me to gloat, gloat, gloat about having mustered the wherewithal to pack up all the accoutrements necessary for hiking when you have two kids in diapers, a dog and a husband who gets very bear like when his blood sugar dips below a certain level, and head to the mountain, Buck Mountain to be exact. It’s a place Sean and I have hiked often, first as an escape from the blistering, back busting Williamstown years, later with dear friends on New Year’s morning pre-kids and marriage, and finally it has…

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