Colleen at a Madison Mom, blagged me after she was blagged by Melody at Slurping Life. Never one to back down to a dare, or forsake the opportunity to overuse a word like blag which somehow seems scandalous and wicked, I am answering her blag challenge…almost a week later.
These are the rules and details of the Blag:
• Each player starts with eight random facts or habits about his or her self – Colleen wrote about 8 careers, so I am following suit.
• These blagged chosen ones are to write posts on their own blog about these eight facts.
• They are also to post these rules.
•At the end of their blog they will list eight people* they have chosen to blag by listing their name and a link to their blog.
Herewith, 8 glimpses into the checkered work history of yours truly:
1. KFC lackey – Yup. My first tax deducted paycheck was at the KFC on 40th Avenue in Yakima, Washington. I think I lasted all of eight weeks. One too many times having to pluck errant feathers from raw drum sticks and cleaning the twice enjoyed kernels of corn from the floor of the bathroom was enough to make this chicken cross the road.
2. Video Store Rental Clerk – Does this really bear mentioning? Why yes, it does, thanks to Harry. Harry was a curly, red haired trucker with a lisp. He wore tight Wranglers and brought us cookies and pizza. He would rent porn, which back then came in very large boxes (I say this as if I know how it comes now). He rented the tapes to make copies for hawking at truck stops. Somehow his entrepreneurial spirit (or cover) made it less uncomfortable to manage the transactions. There was also a little person who would come into rent the same movies. This man was so short that he could not maneuver the boxes over the counter, nor could he hold the massive cases in one hand. I would have to walk around and take them from him. It was, to the 17 year old me, the most mortifying thing in the world.
3. Baker – I worked with a Rastafarian named Kevin. I know, Kevin. He was white, tall and dorky, but professed his devotion to the Rastafari movement. He let me pull as many shots of espresso as I wanted as I worked from 3-10am making bagels. He also introduced me to reggae, lots and lots of reggae.
4. Bartender – I wasn’t particularly good at this as my literacy of alcohol was confined to what I’d learned drinking warm, flat beer from kegs in apple orchards. I erred on the side of heavy pours and when in doubt of which liquor to use, I used several, everything had a certain Long Island Iced Tea quality to it.
5. Barrista – At this point I am simply enjoying the B thread. I pulled espresso for Seattle’s Best Coffee in downtown Yakima. It was an awesome job, bartending with less ingredients and no drunks. I also took significant advantage of the bottomless supply of chocolate covered espresso beans.
6. Origins Make-up Person – See, right there? The fact that I don’t even know what my actual title was will let you know how bad I was. We had to wear five products on our face at all times. I tried to use mascara, cheek stain, sunscreen, cover up and lip balm. No dice. They wanted me to cake the stuff on, which wasn’t natural to me. Nor was touching people’s faces, these were scary walk-in-off-the-streets-of-Harvard-Square faces, and proceed to tell people that I could remedy their issues with one swipe of A Perfect World. Oh, no no no no no, so not true. Couldn’t do it.
7. Carpenter at the Williamstown Theatre Festival – And then Assistant Production Manager and then Production Manager. It was grueling work, insane hours, and insulting pay, but I met my husband there, as well as a small group of amazing people with whom I am still friends today. I met the gone-too-soon John Spencer, had my ass chewed by Roger Rees (Brits do it better,even when they are bloody dead-wrong), laughed hysterically as a friend’s first driving experience involved picking up David Schwimmer and promptly crashing, was proudly unimpressed as George Clooney (I find him to be oddly simian looking, now Bradley Whitford…ooh la la) visited to see his then special lady, Traylor Howard, fielded passes from …we won’t go there, and came into my own as a person. A bit of name dropping? You bet, and this isn’t even the half of it, but if I might direct you to the earlier 6 gigs, I think I earned it.
8. Brace for it, because I am taking the sappy trail here. The role I have now, folding in my marketing work at the chamber, my
unpaid volunteer freelance writing, being a mom, a wife and friend is the best position I’ve ever had, like Williamstown, it has helped me understand who I am and what I am here to do.
*Because I still occasionally cave to doing what everyone else is doing, I’ll pass on listing eight people, however, and this is a huge however, if you are reading this and have had some sort of fantastic, horrific or truly-steal-the-thunder-at-a-dinner-party-type of job, you better dish!
isn't it fun to go back and reminisce? and to think… "damn, thank god i never have to do that shit again!" 🙂
thanks for sharing… i'm glad to know george clooney isn't all that… i'm kinda a joaquin phoenix guy myself… those eyes… mmmm… did you get to meet him??
Oh I love this! I can see you giving fabulous makeovers…
Hysterical. I love that you have such an interesting story for each job.
Quite a resume, my dear. Loved the stories!
My most interesting job? Burlesque entertainer. Okay, that's a lie. Got your attention though, didn't it?
Wanna hear about my brush with smarminess at work? Of course you do. Here goes: I worked for a large software company in Promotions and Programs. I ran a web promo in conjunction with MGM where we enticed software developers to fill out a lead form for a chance to win a trip to watch filming of the television series The Outer Limits. My manager decided that someone from our organization should meet the winners on set, in case they were assholes and made MGM never want to partner with us again. So I flew to Vancouver and spent a day watching the series film. The guest star actor was Harry Hamlin who looked as if he might throw up when we asked if our winners could have a picture with him. He obliged and then took off quickly, I presume to wash the stench of the common people off of him.
I pay you in backrubs.
5.5? Laughing Horse Summer Theatre!!!!!
B.J., Jaime and Dave! The late night chases with power tools? The mud fights in and around a rented van? C'mon, Amanda! Where's the love?
David, do you really think that I want to relive taking a pneumatic staple gun to my boss's thumb? To eating my first Bing cherry, followed by an entire pound of Bing cherries and the explosive aftermath therein…thereout?
Besides, you boys were better than some number on a list. Ya'll gave me the chops to go off and be a carpenter across the country and eventually meet my husband.
When are you starting a blog????
He got over it. Besides everyone needs a good stapling sometimes, right?
Ah, yes, the Bing cherries. Wheee! (Well, not really.)
I've been meaning to look up those guys someday. B.J.'s a pastor, last I heard. Not sure what Jaime's doing.
Hey there – I was reading here, saw a reference to Williamstown and wondered if you meant "that* Williamstown so I did a search. I grew up one town over from there. We were just there on July 4th picking up sandwiches at Pappa Charlie's. My father-in-law lived on Cole Ave. for many, many years. I know the town well. It sounds like you had some interesting experiences there.