Colleen at a Madison Mom, blagged me after she was blagged by Melody at Slurping Life. Never one to back down to a dare, or forsake the opportunity to overuse a word like blag which somehow seems scandalous and wicked, I am answering her blag challenge…almost a week later.
These are the rules and details of the Blag:
• Each player starts with eight random facts or habits about his or her self – Colleen wrote about 8 careers, so I am following suit.
• These blagged chosen ones are to write posts on their own blog about these eight facts.
• They are also to post these rules.
•At the end of their blog they will list eight people* they have chosen to blag by listing their name and a link to their blog.
Herewith, 8 glimpses into the checkered work history of yours truly:
1. KFC lackey – Yup. My first tax deducted paycheck was at the KFC on 40th Avenue in Yakima, Washington. I think I lasted all of eight weeks. One too many times having to pluck errant feathers from raw drum sticks and cleaning the twice enjoyed kernels of corn from the floor of the bathroom was enough to make this chicken cross the road.
2. Video Store Rental Clerk – Does this really bear mentioning? Why yes, it does, thanks to Harry. Harry was a curly, red haired trucker with a lisp. He wore tight Wranglers and brought us cookies and pizza. He would rent porn, which back then came in very large boxes (I say this as if I know how it comes now). He rented the tapes to make copies for hawking at truck stops. Somehow his entrepreneurial spirit (or cover) made it less uncomfortable to manage the transactions. There was also a little person who would come into rent the same movies. This man was so short that he could not maneuver the boxes over the counter, nor could he hold the massive cases in one hand. I would have to walk around and take them from him. It was, to the 17 year old me, the most mortifying thing in the world.
3. Baker – I worked with a Rastafarian named Kevin. I know, Kevin. He was white, tall and dorky, but professed his devotion to the Rastafari movement. He let me pull as many shots of espresso as I wanted as I worked from 3-10am making bagels. He also introduced me to reggae, lots and lots of reggae.
4. Bartender – I wasn’t particularly good at this as my literacy of alcohol was confined to what I’d learned drinking warm, flat beer from kegs in apple orchards. I erred on the side of heavy pours and when in doubt of which liquor to use, I used several, everything had a certain Long Island Iced Tea quality to it.
5. Barrista – At this point I am simply enjoying the B thread. I pulled espresso for Seattle’s Best Coffee in downtown Yakima. It was an awesome job, bartending with less ingredients and no drunks. I also took significant advantage of the bottomless supply of chocolate covered espresso beans.
6. Origins Make-up Person – See, right there? The fact that I don’t even know what my actual title was will let you know how bad I was. We had to wear five products on our face at all times. I tried to use mascara, cheek stain, sunscreen, cover up and lip balm. No dice. They wanted me to cake the stuff on, which wasn’t natural to me. Nor was touching people’s faces, these were scary walk-in-off-the-streets-of-Harvard-Square faces, and proceed to tell people that I could remedy their issues with one swipe of A Perfect World. Oh, no no no no no, so not true. Couldn’t do it.
7. Carpenter at the Williamstown Theatre Festival – And then Assistant Production Manager and then Production Manager. It was grueling work, insane hours, and insulting pay, but I met my husband there, as well as a small group of amazing people with whom I am still friends today. I met the gone-too-soon John Spencer, had my ass chewed by Roger Rees (Brits do it better,even when they are bloody dead-wrong), laughed hysterically as a friend’s first driving experience involved picking up David Schwimmer and promptly crashing, was proudly unimpressed as George Clooney (I find him to be oddly simian looking, now Bradley Whitford…ooh la la) visited to see his then special lady, Traylor Howard, fielded passes from …we won’t go there, and came into my own as a person. A bit of name dropping? You bet, and this isn’t even the half of it, but if I might direct you to the earlier 6 gigs, I think I earned it.
8. Brace for it, because I am taking the sappy trail here. The role I have now, folding in my marketing work at the chamber, my
unpaid volunteer freelance writing, being a mom, a wife and friend is the best position I’ve ever had, like Williamstown, it has helped me understand who I am and what I am here to do.
*Because I still occasionally cave to doing what everyone else is doing, I’ll pass on listing eight people, however, and this is a huge however, if you are reading this and have had some sort of fantastic, horrific or truly-steal-the-thunder-at-a-dinner-party-type of job, you better dish!