I have a confession to make, I have been bit of an ostrich, not like a, “What do you mean George W. Bush sent us into a war that was pure folly? He’s protecting our country.” ostrich, more like a, “You mean the OJ thing is a set-up?” kind of ostrich. Yeah, I know, both are pretty thick, but I feel like I can talk to you on that level.
Sean and I have never broached the issue of life insurance. I think, and again, I realize that this won’t paint me in the kindest light, but I think we’ve both been to afraid to face the issue of mortality, particluarly as we’ve grown our own family and come to realize that we are one another’s best defense.
He is the person I call when I am hurt or angry. He is the person who takes my verbal and physical pummeling when it seems as if the only way to deal with life’s injustices is through a tantrum. He strokes my hair and kisses my brow when I wish the adage about never being able to go home again weren’t so goddamn true. He is there when no one else could ever be enough, and I try to do the same for him. So to talk about not being, we’ve just not had the courage.
Until now, together and breathless as another life grows inside of me. As we huddle with our girls and whisper delicious secrets about the days and years to come, about family trips and special birthdays, about big sisters and little sisters and about our family. We’ve finally done it, we’ve talked about the what if of no longer.
Next week we meet with our insurance guru, one of two brothers who grew up on the very street we are raising our girls. We will answer the medical questions and address the financial needs of a surviving spouse, though it feels for all the world that if I lost him I would be anything but surviving.
I suppose the upside of the terror in this step is the depth of love and blessing it means we have in our life together. Just the same, I’ve like to toast to evermore.
Go hug the ones you love, ok?
Back in 1998 we had 2 friends die of cancer… one had life insurance and the other didn't and that was all we needed to get our frolicking head in the clouds selves in touch with the ugly reality of death.
It was a miserable meeting, having to discuss what the other would "need"… for him, a live in nanny and cook, for me, enough money to pay of the house and college…
We're pretty heavily insured and, although some argue it's a waste of money, it's a huge HUGE relief.
(I am new to your blog. I linked her via your v. funny comment on Motherhood Uncensored)
When Emma was 14 months old, and Nicky was just a bump below my waist line, we ventured down that road as well. And although the discussion with what seems like a complete stranger to the intimacy that exists between you is awkward, it was worth it. There is an odd and guilty sense of relief in it, if not for you, for your kids.
I learned pretty quick when my dad got cancer that bad stuff happens.
We got our will together last year. Insurance is a very wise decision.
We did all this when Jack was born — life insurance, wills, and living wills.
It wasn't much fun. Particularly because there's really no one we're totally thrilled about who might take our boys should we both die.
Good luck. When it's done, you can forget about all of it again.
It's an unpleasant, but necessary conversation. {Although Greg likes to kid me, teasing me that nothing will happen. It just scares me.}
We got our wills together soon after 9/11, and we just got life insurance on me. Hubby has life insurance from work, but he travels so much – if I died, he'd have to stay home and life would get very rough for a while, since I keep this house humming.
It's nice to know that we have everything in order. Just in case. That's what insurance is for, after all.
Good decision, albeit a tough topic.
Wills, life insurance..no fun but such a necessity and good for peace of mind. It's almost a relief though – at least knowing that things would be handled.
Oooh, weird timing! My husband and I were talking to an insurance consultant TODAY about upping our life insurance policies. That's never fun.
This hit me right in the gut. It's something Hubby and I need to take care of. He has life insurance through work, but I have none. We need to increase his and buy some for me.
Gulp.
We did the whole will and life insurance thing when our older one was a couple months old. Let me just warn you that although we knew it wouldn't be a fun discussion, we were taken back by how down we were for the rest of the day. Now hopefully we don't have to think about it again.
it's so scary, but you have to do it. Right now we are wrestling with who to leave our daughter with if we both die. The godparents now live half a continent away and our daughter no longer knows them, and while they were a logical choice when we lived in the same state, now it would be so scary for her. And so we wonder… but have no answers yet.
Oh. I am soooo much like you. My husband dragged me to the office to get our wills done, and and sat there, just trying to ignore everything that was being said.
Weird though, I remember when my Mom gave me a copy of her will — and I had the same icky feeling. And then, a few years later, when I sat in her attorney's office to have it read. It really wasn't that bad. It made me feel connected to her again — she wrote this, I'm in it, and she was real.
We did the life insurance thing way back before we had kids (my dad was a financial planner, at the time).
Somehow the thought of your mortality is less scary before you have kids.
My husband sells life insurance for a living, so it was a no brainer for us. And really no trouble. The harder part was deciding what would happen if we both died. Who would take care of our children. Who would love them? We made a choice, the best one we could think of and then I started praying often that I would see them through adulthood.
going up right now to hug my sweeties.
life insurance is scary, but a good thing to do. some people say it is morbid and planning for something that will likely not happen. but it is so important. So.
You don't need to tell me twice ~ I'll hug away today!
Oh, and as an Allstate employee, I must say this: I am proud of you. I think taking away the financial burdens off of grieving loved ones is quite a gift to leave them.
It is so scary to think about mortality… and you are not the only one who tries not to think about it!
It is a scary but very grown up thing that must be done
it was as unpleasant as taxes
yet i feel better in the deep recesses of my mind now
yr smart ")
I am a firm believer in hugging, especially those that I love deeply, coffee and life insurance. Lots and lots of life insurance. 🙂
Life insurance, even though the thought of losing the one who is being insured stinks, it must be done. For the living it must be done. I have seen people who didn't have insurance and the family was devistated when the bread winner passed away. visit: low cost term life insurance quote