Excuse me, you there, you standing behind the counter,
you on the other end of the line,
you at the checkout,
and you sitting at the table behind me, got a minute?
You do not, under any circumstances say to a woman as heavy with child as I am, “You mean you haven’t had that baby yet?”
Nor do you say, “Is this another pregnancy or are you still waiting to have that other one.” I’d also recommend refraining from making ‘witty’ comments wondering what exactly it is I am “waiting for.”
She’s a bright kid, she’ll come out when she’s good and ready.
That said, if anyone wants to offer up ideas beyond raspberry tea, spicy food, sex, walking up hills and lifting heavy shit I’d be much obliged because as fun and wondrous as a few of the aforementioned suggestions were, they ain’t workin’.