It took two tries and several years, but we sold our house. I don’t think either of us believed it would happen. We furtively moved our things, loading a small pick-up with the garage door closed and making quiet trips to a storage unit. “We’ll probably have to just move it back in,” I thought with flaming cheeks.After a month in the storage unit and about 10 days in our rental, we closed. A soft ding from my email program and the words appeared on the screen: “Mike is back – all is complete.” I rolled the reality around in my mind. Rationally I was thrilled, knowing how the long hours we’d logged as naive newlyweds, tirelessly deconstructing the house were being leveraged to begin the next chapter, but the sensation was tinged with defeat. I had expected relief, maybe euphoria but what I felt was something closer to a balloon coming untethered from its post, yet so little helium remained it just sort of hovered, neither sinking nor taking flight.
Just hours before we’d made a final sweep through the house. My eyes scanned the walls that have surrounded us—Seven Christmases, first as newlyweds with eyes full of excitement, then as new parents without a nickel to spare, and then later, with more of us. Sean moved through the house slowly, reverently. I noticed that his shoes were off and chuckled, all these years and it took having it be someone else’s for him to really embrace the no shoes inside policy.
It happened at the same moment, we began to weep. Babies. All nighters. Birthday parties. Blisters. Ambitions. So many memories rattled around. We never truly felt settled, as if somehow knowing we’d move along, but standing there, eyes burning and chins trembling, we realized we were saying goodbye to our home.
Saying goodbye is proving to be as hard as the work that brought us to this day. I think that’s good. I am happy for our old house and the family that will be making their own memories with their baby daughter.
Oh, to move! It is bittersweet. Cherish the memories, and go make new one!
Congratulations on your new chapter!
It seemed impossible that you would leave that house. I secretly mourned the decision. But then — I saw you all in your little rental and realized that you left nothing behind at the house. Such a vivid, beautiful family — happy where you are! Mom told me “home is where you are”. How right she was. You have made a wise and brave decision.
I feel like I will miss your house as much as I miss our house!
I couldn’t wait to move out of our “old” house into our new one. Until the day we moved the last of the items out and walked through the empty rooms. It was our first home as a family. There were so many firsts in that little house. It’s easy enough to work through that by reminding yourself “home is where the heart is”, but still…
You are lucky that your home will be filled yet again with many firsts for the new family. We weren’t as fortunate.
And I’m sorry…
I’m weeping with you. I can totally understand. I lived in the same house from the time I was 9 months old until I went to college. Then after 5 years I moved back with my parents until I got married. My parents moved 2 (I think… time is crazy) years ago. It just about devastated me to walk through the house the day they moved.
But… I’m also so excited for you. A new home to make. New memories in a new place. All 5 of you involved in creating home.
This is where you rocked all your babies. Of course you would weep. That alone would make it hard to reconcile the emotions with the intellect.
Yeah! Good luck with your next one!