Being grateful and being truly aware of your blessings are two entirely different things.
I sat down today while the girls napped to write a letter of reference for friends of ours. Sean was working on prepping dinner and putting away groceries so that I was unencumbered by all the things that are more easily accomplished without kids underfoot. I had a simple directive—
Explain how they would be good parents.
My mind was zipping around, should I talk about their musical talents? Creativity? Generosity? Work ethic? Is it important to talk about family or explain the strength of their values and their open minds? Should I be playful or concise, should I use big words or dumb it down? After typing and deleting a half a page’s worth of here’s-why-they’re-great I began to feel a little queasy. Discomfort shifted to indignation. It felt so wrong.
I replayed the three times I found out I was pregnant, the only judgement I had to deal with was the reaction to the announcement. Murmurs about it being too soon, was I trying for a boy, was it a mistake… We didn’t have to demonstrate that there were adults I know who could vouch for our fitness to be parents. I sighed, a floor board upstairs creaked as little feet touched the floor. The blank screen stared back at me. I needed to finish and someone was up, soon to be followed by two more someones.
My eyes filled with tears as I realized that naps and cuddles, first teeth and first words, hung in the balance. My fingers danced over the keys as I recalled juggling and dancing, the afternoons holding them close and calling extra goodnights. Hugs and squeals of delight. All along, it was them, offering extra layers of parenting and adoration to our girls. Sean came and read the letter, I saw the same memories and more flashing behind his eyes as he became aware of all that we have and all that our friends deserve.
I am emerging from oblivion and acknowledging how genuinely blessed we are, both as parents and as friends. If you could do me a huge favor and send up a little extra something to the universe to help a tiny person find his or her way to the parents who are so ready to start their rightful life, I’d be eternally grateful.
We were asked to be a reference as well to our friends, and luckily, due to some technical glitch, we were off the hook. It made me queasy, the idea of marketing my friends seemed like insult to the injury after five years of heartbreaks. May your friends find that heart-match soon.
You really can’t understand how blessed you are until you think of someone who doesn’t have what you have even though they want it so badly. I hope your friends are able to start their family soon.
Prayers sent, fingers crossed… sprinkle the pixie dust!
I have both written those letters and asked friends to write them for us and I have to say that in either direction it is humbling. You know I am thinking of your friends and hoping that very, very soon that tiny person finds his/her way home.
I know they’ll be amazing. Because they’re amazing human beings that have WAY too much love in their hearts to keep it just between themselves. If I know who you’re talking about, then send them huge love from us.
that one made me tear up a little. your friends are lucky to have someone like you in their lives, and I suspect someday real soon, some little rugrats will be lucky to have your friends in their lives
I’ve sent my intentions to the universe. I’m sending you a big hug for being a sensitive, supportive friend. They’re blessed to have you.
I hope the pitter-patter of little feet is theirs soon. Clearly, they deserve it. I know others will see it, too.
Oh this is just beautiful! I am absolutely sending a pray out there for your friends. I feel truly blessed myself.
We’ve been on the receiving end of this type of letter, so thankful for dear friends who took the time to place our hearts desire on paper. Our story turned out beautifully, I pray your friends will soon find the same. Thank God for adoption and forever families.
I am surprised how often I think of them, in the form of a blessing, a meditation. There is a child, she/he must be found. Placed in their arms. Forever. Beautiful post.
Gratitude is the best drug. I hope your friends can know it soon.