So much changes when you…

Move out.

Get married.

Become a parent.

Get divorced.

Come out.

No matter who you are or where you are, so much changes eventually applies. I’m working through some things as I go through the day, but suffice it to say that reading about cancer encircling the spine, lungs and legs put it all right back in perspective. Life isn’t easy and it’s not always pretty. We move along in these waves —sometimes beautiful, sluicing majestically through whatever is in our path, other times clashing wildly against everything.

I have an exquisite tether to awareness of my blessings in Susan. She reminds me why each moment is precious—for the things we can do and the way we can change the world. I am humbled by how quickly I forget and am then brought back to reality. I don’t have to choose between building reserves to fight a merciless demon and playing with my kids. She has stretched my capacity to strive and accept in way that I didn’t know I had in me.

The last few weeks have been exceptionally challenging with stuff—family, work, personal, weather. Sort of like Murphy’s Law decided to permanently squat on my life.  Today I visited a blog and left a comment, afterwords I retweeted the link that led me to it and Susan favorited it.  Her fingerprint on where I’d been made me consider more earnestly where I was going.

Sean snapped this picture of me a few days ago and it reminds me of how strong I am and how so much of what our girls see, feel and believe starts with me.

I want to teach them that grace lives in each of us and that while we cannot control everything, we can embrace the gifts we have.

We shouldn’t hesitate to pursue the spark of a something that delights us, even if it’s touristy.

We shouldn’t take make-up so seriously that we can’t enjoy it.

More than anything else, Susan has reminded me to let the light in.

On the hardest day see the volume of what you can, surpass the weight of what you cannot.

So much of what I know that I have is thanks to Susan. I plan to spend my time in the sunshine revering my gifts, be they moments or years.