I’ve been thinking lately, chalk it up to withered vines and unexpected new blooms. I turned 38 last month and, not that the age 38 is any great shakes, I’ve realized some things. Life isn’t what it seems, or rather, our potential isn’t what it seems. It’s easy to get caught up in people preconceiving what we can or can’t do, or protesting that time, money or circumstance make something other than exceptional the only possibility. I am realizing, trite as it may sound, that every day is a chance to break free from the rut, succeed beyond expectations or means.
When you persist and believe more in the rightness of the path that you are on, rather than some perception of what you are capable of or where you belong and how you should act, than you transcend aspirational boundaries. Does that sound like too much bull sh*t? Here’s the thing, I am coming off of a call that reinforces the designs I have on making a change. I won’t go into the specifics, other than to say I entered into a conversation with someone who had not done her homework, I had. When I clarified, she attacked. I won’t call the 30 minutes a waste of my time, I’ll call them a reminder of the capacity I have for good.
This was a person who endeavored to make me feel less than, but when all was said and done, she made me more than ever who I am. I let my candor be my power. When the 30 minutes I gave her on my Sunday were over, I orchestrated projects with the girls, harvested bounty from our garden with our 5 year old, and created a dinner that made them all exclaim. Later there was a bath, stories, whispers and giggles over what we’ve done and what is yet to come.
We replayed the weekend. The market. The playground. The backyard. The lake. S’mores. A movie. Stories. Cuddles. Focus. Devotion.
I’m genuinely contemplating a change. I want to start steering my impact more. I want relationships that mean more, choices that resonate beyond the moment they are made. I spent the weekend doing little things, things I’d thought about doing for quite some time, my joy was more profound that it’s been in a while.
I am pledging to share those things here. I want to keep myself honest and maybe, just maybe, enlist others to participate in making deliberate choices that yield a greater return.
I hope you’ll stick around.
This? “I want relationships that mean more, choices that resonate beyond the moment they are made”
Yes you do that already. You have. For always. XO
Thank you, Maggie and Leslie. These friendships mean so much—inspiration, support and the hopeful challenge to do better.
Beautiful. I hope that I can rise up to meet the challenge of not just doing better…but being better.
BTW, hello from another upstate blogger! I found you through Kelly’s (Mocha Mom) blog.
If anyone can do this, I am sure it is you. Little things, like your ability to capture that moment of contemplation and honor it for the value it holds for all of you, prove the strength of the possibilities.
Your reflectiveness is contagious, you know. You already make an impact.
—My Dear Wink,
fabulous, profound post. So many layers.
Yes, I will stick around. YEs! Yes! xx
Follow you anywhere.
When you ruminate I listen to what comes out the other side.
Your contemplation is exactly what assures that I’ll stick around.
As long as you’re here sharing… I’ll be sticking around. Wouldn’t have it any other way!
(and one day… I’ll catch up with my blog reading!)
More than and more than again I like to take into consideration
this troubles. As a matter of fact it wasn’t even a month ago that I thought about this really thing.
To be honest, what will be the answer though?
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from him finally, and some commentary by me in italics.
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with the boys while catching a game.
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