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Resolve to Mean it

Posted on December 30, 2013

Each year I welcome the holidays with childlike wonder, soaking up the hope and patience that come to visit. Less than a month later I stow the decorations and vacuum the pine needles in a frenzy to reclaim order. Usually the cleaning blitz extends beyond the decorations as I scour the fridge and go through closets. I know I’m not alone as I watch headlines crop up with tips for a cleaner, healthier, cheaper New Year. Lose weight.              Let go of baggage.                Meditate. Everyone dives in and I think: Maybe I can make a pledge to reform some part of myself. Then the next wave of articles hit with people consumed by…

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Fleeting Yet Indelible

Posted on December 26, 2013

Yesterday morning, during a break between stockings and presents, I slipped away to the bathroom to put in my contacts. The sun in the backyard reflected against the snow and lit up the bathroom with the most amazing light. The night before I’d fallen asleep on the couch; our cocker spaniel like a heating pad at my side. When I crept upstairs I didn’t even turn on the light as I brushed my teeth. My usual decluttering went undone. Surveying the counter—a medicine measuring cup alongside an Ariel bath throne, a letter F charm necklace, several tubes of toothpaste, a beloved tall, “straw-cup,” craft scissors, Rainbow Loom bands, hair ties, raised gem stickers, and thick rivulets of dried…toothpaste? Soap? Paint? Instinctively I reached for…

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The Weight is Over

Posted on December 21, 2013

She was sitting in the tub, a fever threatening and a belly full of upset. She’d been trying to get comfortable for an hour; multiple trips to the bathroom to vomit proving unproductive. At one point I even told her how to help herself throw up. It terrified me, like handing a match to a child. She looked horrified, so I’d suggested the bath. We were quiet, nothing but the soft sound of the bubbles settling, until she spoke. “Mom, do you remember the girl I went to preschool with who goes to my school now?” “Did she have long, brown hair? Her mom works at the school?” She looked uncertain. “She was bigger than some of the other kids, right?” She nodded, “Yeah,…

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S’now Big Deal

Posted on December 15, 2013

Just because a person is born in the Adirondacks doesn’t mean that they automatically love winter. Finley was slow to take to snow. Over time she has gotten heartier, scampering up trails on hikes and developing a fierce devotion to lake swimming. This morning’s blanket of snow brought squeals and declarations of intentions to “play outside all day!” We hadn’t been outside long when the inevitable happened, a face full of snow that snuck all the way down her snowsuit. She responded appropriately.   Sean was upstairs trying to sleep his way out of a sore throat and Fin’s sisters were literally knee deep in snow in the farthest corner of our yard. “Honey, do you need to go inside?” Alligator tears sprang from…

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