Today is our ten year anniversary. We were married at 5pm, on Saturday, June 28th, 2003 at The Mansion in Rock City Falls, just outside of Saratoga Springs, NY. It was a perfect day that I keep wrapped in a halo of wonder. My grandfather at the piano, my friends and family together on the sun dappled deck, and later in the barn, beneath twinkly lights.
The emotional mortar holding together the life we’ve built has changed, little bits have crumbled, while others have proven themselves to be impervious to weather. This last year opened a door, death and divorce have entered into our circle’s lexicon in a way we somehow believed we’d evade. There is a tempering to my hope, but also new understanding that joy is not so much about a making it to a certain point, but a capacity that we have.
We can embrace the idea of being happy even while the odds are stacked against us, or we can turn away from it and get comfortable in the slippery realm of sorrow. I’ve flirted with the latter, not as a sadness related to marriage, but as a fatigued response to life. This day, this reminder of that Saturday when all I had on my mind was the idea that I was starting my happily ever after, is a precious tap on my shoulder.
Ten years, three children, and more joy than I ever imagined possible, but it is—joy.
And so, this is why on my tenth anniversary I am sharing this video with you.
Marriage is music. It is friendship and foibles. It is falling down and getting back up. It is laughing until the frustration goes away, and beating the drum until you find your rhythm.