I want so much to write something here, craft an assemblage of words that will move you. I long for the release and the subsequent fiery inspiration that come from the crackle of connection here. Some days I float around the internet, smiling at the familiar lyricism of certain friends, gasping with delight at new-to-me voices, and it lifts me, powering my fingers with breathless passion.

Not lately though, because I am tired. Run-down from managing the end-of-year details that all seem so counter intuitive and the gathering of cash in these not-ATM-friendly increments for the rat-a-tat barrage of field trips seems unmanageable. The dog continues his rampage of acting out, the cat is, well she’s a cat and that really says it all, right? When I get like this Sean tends to say, “The house is too small for us, you expect too much of yourself, and you just need to relax.”

I volley back, “If we could just stay organized…”

“Rest,” he says almost sternly.


“Come on, Amanda, just slow down. Lighten up.”

“Why can’t you baby me?” I ask him.

“Because you won’t listen to me until I am talking like this.”

I sigh, petulant and chagrined, because he is right.

All of which is why on Sunday I found myself allowing the sun to land on my prone body, it wasn’t that I was “laying out,” rather I was allowing myself to be still long enough for a bit of sun to warm me. It wasn’t for long and I’m not 100%, but it helped.



Are you taking care of yourself?

How do you manage when you are run down?