Years ago in my carpentry days I worked with a guy named Clay. He was from North Carolina and had the kind of drawl that authors take paragraphs to bring to life until it becomes the cadence of your very thoughts. As we would work feverishly in the scene shop at Delftree building sets for the Williamstown Theatre Festival, we’d take smoke breaks and bitch breaks. One late night walking toward the loading dock Clay said, “This whole thing makes about as much goddamn sense as going through your asshole to get to your belly button.”

That saying has stayed with me because I’ve built a life on doing things the hard way. Whether it’s insisting on doing something myself, adjusting my plan to defer to others who shouldn’t really influence my path, or simply refusing shortcuts. I don’t regret it, in fact you can learn a lot by doing things the hard way. The flip side is that you can gain a lot by not taking the hardest path. Given my focus on trying to create a healthy template for my girls, I am hoping to get a little more comfortable with embracing easier ways.

Between the saying “You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy” and “Fuck ’em” I think there is a new route. It can work for those who know the hard way intimately and those who don’t.


Wishing you bends in the road and shifts in perspective to get you to your best place.