Archive for

We are going to play

Posted on December 23, 2015

Sitting in a quiet house with a thick fog rolling through, the Christmas lights are on, and I can hear the girls playing upstairs. The year is winding down, but work demands and daughterly expectations are ascending—all good things. The only danger is that I listen to the wrong clamor, that the things that pull me may not be the most important or represent the best use of my time. I resist taking a clinical approach to prioritization or being. I just want life to flow and for my people, at work and at home, to be happy. Sigh. A few days ago it finally snowed, the girls went wild, in fact Briar woke early after a nightmare and as I cradled her in…

+Read more

Tiny Moments Forever

Posted on December 18, 2015

A card came in yesterday’s mail. I’ve shed my shame over holiday cards. I’ve developed a love and devotion to non-traditional, spurred by whimsy messages, sending pressed wildflowers to friends apropos of nothing, or buying exquisitely designed cards to send off in the hope that they might turn out to be little soldiers combatting the crippling doubt or worry that sometimes hit up even the best of us. This card was in an envelope addressed in beautiful writing to The Magees. The girls, having collected the mail an hour before I arrived home, were chomping at the bit to open it. “Look, mom. It has a Harry Potter sticker!” I laughed and set aside the pizza dough that was not cooperating. “Ok, let’s do this. Open…

+Read more

Revisiting Things We Learn

Posted on December 16, 2015

Last year I wrote a post after a random encounter with a Spiderman character in Times Square. Being 5′ 10″ and having always been the tall friend or the big friend, I’m not someone who likes to be picked up by people. That sticker on mirrors, “Objects may appear smaller than they actually are” has been true for my weight, so the idea of uttering it aloud or having someone feel it by lifting me is just, well it taps into every insecure, awkward emotion from high school. Not something I’m proud of, but it’s there. When this guy persisted in trying to literally pick me up in, as hard as this is to believe, a totally non-creepy way, I finally thought, “What the…

+Read more

The Color of Can

Posted on December 6, 2015

    We’ve been talking a lot about what we want to do—on every level from being a sixth grader with classmates who are moving faster or acting mean to being the youngest and still wanting to play with toys, and as business owners looking down a new year, or as spouses still wanting to spark, and then at the simplest level of self. What makes you happy? What’s missing? If you could create any scenario, what would it be? I’ll admit these are things that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. I have always felt like I didn’t want things as much as other people. I have had teeth-gnashing envy of people who know what they want. I want that.   “All…

+Read more

Who Gets to Grieve?

Posted on November 1, 2015

Sometimes death reminds me of language. As soon as I learn a new word it suddenly pops up in conversation, in a book, or on my favorite show; it’s literally everywhere. Death feels like that. A friend takes their own life and suddenly the headlines are all about suicide, plot lines follow a suicide, people I barely know die by suicide. Or is death always there? Have people always been using that word and have dozens of people taken their own lives and I just didn’t notice? We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand upon one whom we love. ~Madame de Stael   A suicide in August, another in September, and then this month a death that rocked me, followed by another that came without…

+Read more