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Is It Harder Being an Adult Than a Kid?

Posted on July 1, 2015

“So, is it hard? Do you want to cry when you put us on the bus?” her face was titled against the car window toward where the bus would eventually emerge. Her tone was mostly kidding, with the slightest, wistful undercurrent. I stared at her profile. Her pert nose exactly as it looked the day she was born more than 11 years earlier. Round cheeks and curly lashes framing eyes that are a mirror image of her dad’s. I’d braided her hair after a bath the night before. She had said to me in the bathroom that morning, “Should I keep my hair in the braid or take it out?”   “Keep it in, I think it looks beautiful with those little wisps coming…

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Be One More

Posted on June 23, 2015

The other day I was sitting in our backyard soaking up the sound of the leaves  in the wind, the rustle like water to my ears. Blades of grass danced with beads of water from the soaking I’d given them. I looked at the yellow blossoms popping along the cucumber vines, the soil rich with coffee grounds and molasses water. Pink chive blossoms bobbed in the wind from their perch in the whiskey barrel, along with the cilantro and mint I’d planted. Then something caught my eye, a little blossom that I hadn’t planted, a volunteer, my mom would call it. It had sprung from the crevices in the stone wall—never planted, never intentionally watered, and having to strain for its place in the sun.…

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Why Don’t They…

Posted on June 15, 2015

Lately we’ve been playing more in the backyard. Sean will toss a lacrosse ball with the big girls while I kick a supermarket bouncy ball with Fin. Inevitably our lines will cross and Sean will kick the ball as I field a lacrosse ball. The girls giggle and cheer as we zig and zag. Most of the time it ends up being Sean alone with either Avery or Briar. The other night it was B who stayed out with Sean. I was about to go in, but as the littler girls darted by, I decided to stay for minute. Sean called to her to pass the ball. She wound up and grunted as she tried to throw the football. “Nice job, keep it up,”…

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A New Gauge

Posted on June 7, 2015

Saturday we took the girls to a day-long concert. I imagined that it would be an amazing, magical experience, and it was. The only thing is that the magic I’d been chasing didn’t happen until the absolute end of the day. The girls were over the moon at the prospect of seeing Sawyer Fredericks. Sean and I assumed he’d kick off the concert, not close it out.   It was a warm day and while I’d prepared us with granola bars and cash, there was so very much for which I had not. The volume, the smoking, the exhibitionists, the rule-breaking by others that I told the girls still wasn’t ok for them to do. Mostly they got it and soaked in all the…

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You aren’t doing anything wrong.

Posted on May 30, 2015

  I get it, life moves fast, time is so precious that we all try to quickly assess each moment and categorize things in order to keep moving along, but I think there is a chance we’re missing something in our haste. Last fall we took the girls to Jay Peak. The time was particularly special for Avery, something about the athleticism of the options there spoke to her. Since that weekend she has asked to go again, to climb rock walls or try flow boarding. I kept delaying, murmuring “maybe.” She boogie boarded during Fin’s birthday party, defiantly exuberant despite being the only girl on the waves. Over the past few weeks I’ve caught myself looking at people’s Facebook posts rolling my eyes.…

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