I can’t count how many times I’ve set it aside. “The timing isn’t right,” or “I’m out of ideas.”
You know what it really was?
Fear. I was afraid that I couldn’t do it. I watched my early blogging peers do it. When I participated in the This is Childhood anthology I still felt tickles of doubt. It’s been years since I’ve written about parenting with any regularity. It wasn’t a conscious decision, I miss it sometimes. Writing for clients at work is good, I love words being the thing that can help create the outcome someone needs.
I’ve been having fun with TikTok. It’s a wildly different medium, but it’s giving me a place to experiment.
Writing is still my true love. Last night I hit 100 pages on my manuscript. Second manuscript, the first was written with too many ghosts on my shoulder.
The swells of excitement are untouched by doubt. I’ve never felt more certain that I am doing what I should be doing. This slow approach to an empty nest is core-wracking. It would be so nice if there were a tidy off-ramp, letting me appropriately scale down my mothering, or a manual that calibrates how hands off to be.
The five of us have all seen my imperfections and poor decisions, just as we’ve seen my triumphs. One day I’ll tell you about the very real potential of a “Fall risk” tattoo happening.
For now, I am going to show my girls and myself, that having a passion isn’t just a good thing, it’s an essential. Sean is a brilliant editor and I am proud of how far I’ve come in taking feedback. (Wild laughter.)
I hope to make updates here. I’ll need to back up my pitches with the promise that I do have people that would buy a book written by Amanda Magee. Thanks for still being here,
