Posts tagged “Adirondacks

Home and Back

Posted on October 11, 2013

I take the girls to the bus stop each morning and thenI drive to work. Each night we talk about our day at the dinner table, the time is usually filled with the girls’ stories, which never fail to require getting up from the table and going through very extended and physically dramatic retellings. It goes beyond hand talking to whole body retelling. Later, as we tuck them in, they brush their noses against mine, or trace their fingers along my face and say, “Tell me about your day. What did you do?” It can be so hard to explain. Did I really only write emails and take phone calls? It’s me asking this, not them, though I imagine they must wonder how that…

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A Hair’s Breadth

Posted on October 8, 2013

The older I get, the more I realize everything is but a hair’s breadth from this moment— peril, bliss, understanding, balance. A morning of dropped razors, unfilled toilet paper rolls, and empty coffee containers can set the tone of my entire day. Afternoons stacked with barely veiled nastiness in my inbox, back-to-back red lights on the way to the bus, and meat I forgot to defrost can leave me staggering to bedtime. The tiniest shift in my thinking and I can set the course for things happening a certain way, or at least for how I ultimately respond to things. After the experience with Finley’s unexplained skin rash and fever this summer, about which I nearly lost my mind, I would have expected last week’s…

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Anatomy of an Unplanned Memory

Posted on August 12, 2012

As the girls move beyond the toddler years and finding something to do that all three can agree to becomes more challenging, I find that I say, “It’ll make a great memory,” less and less. It isn’t that I don’t want that to be the case, it’s more that by setting that expectation I put too much pressure on us all. We lose our ability to give ourselves to the moments and instead work artificially to make a memory. It fails. Friday I didn’t have childcare set up and I’d been feeling the need to focus on the girls, so staying out of the office and away from my computer seemed like what I needed to do. I’d sent out a flurry of emails…

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Laboring Love

Posted on July 8, 2012

Labor of love is kind of a tired phrase, isn’t it? I’m guilty of doing that thing where you use incredibly descriptive words to assign more importance and depth to a thing, sometimes more for my own benefit than for those that I am talking to. Maybe I put the girls off to finish drafting copy, or I bag going to the gym or getting my hair done in order to do something else. The guilt will gnaw at me so I construct a scenario where what I have done was worth the things I sacrificed. I’m getting smarter. I am saying no more, making myself acknowledge when something is getting more time, energy or, yes, love. Yet life and work continue and every…

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