Posts tagged “Love

Heartache shuffle

Posted on June 12, 2012

I suppose it’s to be expected that as we hurtle through graduations, funerals and deadlines, I’m a touch sentimental. The lump in my throat has come to be a constant companion—nervous before a presentation? There it is, clawing its way up and trying to make me crack, tears stinging at my eyes. Quickly annoyance surges and I suppress the tears. Standing on the playground, hands ready to shadow the twisting torso as it moves along the monkey bars, then comes the shake of the head, the kick of the leg and away she goes, leaving my hands empty and my face burning. The lump in my throat roots me in place, keeps me from following along to give help where none is required. As…

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For Mother’s Day

Posted on May 12, 2012

This Mother’s Day, if I could make one request, it would be this: one of my childhood friends, a girl who peppers most of the happiest memories of my youth, needs something, I’d like to help deliver it to her. We fell out of touch as people do, and then reconnected through Facebook. I’ve often chuckled at her pictures, her three rough and tumble boys a stark contrast against my three squealing, boa-loving girls. She in Oklahoma, me in Upstate NY, both so very far from Eugene, Oregon. During movie time in school we used to take her Swatch watch and take turns running it up and down one another’s forearm to pass the time. The watch smelled funny, rubbery and sweaty, and the…

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Stacking Wood

Posted on November 4, 2011

When I was a teenager in Yakima, Washington one of my responsibilities was stacking the cords of applewood we would get for our fireplace. My motivation to stack it was threefold: First—the wood was delivered and dumped in my parking spot. Second—I loved a fire when I watched movies, which was all the time (VHS FTW) Third—Even though I inevitably happened upon spiders, got splinters and suffered wood bits in my eyes, the act of stacking the wood was almost meditative. It was physically grueling, mentally cleansing and ultimately incredibly satisfying to see what I had made from a mess. Currently we do not have a wood burning fireplace, though pining for one is one of my favorite activities. What I do have is…

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Longing

Posted on October 28, 2011

I have no regrets about our summer, looking back I can replay so many shimmering memories of swimming with the girls, hunting for sticks to ‘marsh the mallows‘, and diving beneath the sparkling lake water to scour the shallow shores for driftwood. Each day has a soundtrack that makes me proud as the echoes play of having arrived at milestones hand-in-hand: swimming without life jackets, jumping off the back of the boat into bottomless bays and speeding down the treefort slide. I’ll admit that each autumn brings a pang of sorrow as I put away frocks that have run out of sisters to share them, wee little bits of memory-charged fabric go to a donate pile or a reverence heap. This year though, this…

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