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Posted on May 28, 2011

A few months ago a promise was made, not just to myself or to Sean, we made the promise to all three girls. We committed to family time, real, honest-to-goodness family time. The three of them responded so immediately and so exuberantly that Sean and I were blessedly lifted up on to this incredible rush of anticipation. We fantasized about outings and conversations, we projected memories that would be made and changes that would happen overnight. The thing is, change doesn’t happen over night unless you choose it. I don’t think it was that I actively did not choose it, I just failed to pursue it with the same zeal and determination that I do other things. That was wrong. I was wrong. I…

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Five at last

Posted on May 15, 2011

I never knew that five years could feel like a lifetime. I didn’t understand that at five years old certain things would just slip from your face and reveal so much. I shake my head remembering how you were the one I worried about the most. I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to love you as much as Briar, that somehow coming second left less excitement and wonder. I was so wrong. Once you were born it was easy to slip right into worshipping you. All of us—Dad, Briar, me. We couldn’t get enough of your sparkly smile, the special sound of your voice and the way you knew how to do things so soon. All of my worries disappeared as…

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Each Day’s Promise

Posted on May 10, 2011

I’ve said before that I am not a law-enforcer on Mother’s Day. There is just something off about everything being about one person on a day other than birthdays. I whispered in each girl’s ear last night, “Thank you for making this day that let’s me celebrate being the one who gets to be your mom.” This isn’t some haughty way of saying women who enjoy Mother’s Day have it wrong. I know every minute of every day that we all do it differently. Customs, rules, pet peeves and let-it-slides, we have what works and we bite our tongues when it doesn’t. I guess I just hope that we all find ways (or people) that help us remember that every day has the promise…

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Hope Spinning

Posted on May 4, 2011

I remember as a little girl, standing at the checkout in the grocery store and eyeing the simple print-outs with a fluttering heart. Those holiday coloring contests ignited in me a belief that anything was possible. I imagined that even though I’d never had the steadiest hand in class, I might submit the winning entry. Each time I’d glance over at the expanse of glass above the recycling center and imagine my finished piece being displayed with a bright colored “WINNER” badge. The Albertson’s staff would smile at me and clap me on the back, my mom and dad would smile and tousle the hair on the top of my head saying, “We knew you’d get it.” So many Easters, Thanksgivings and Vanlentine’s Day…

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