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Fitness without sweat

Posted on November 17, 2009

We rejoined the YMCA over the weekend. I can honestly say right now that as I type this I am moaning. Oh, the nuanced pain of unused muscles. I am discovering expanses of self that hurt as never before, the cruelest part being the surprise as a movement draws a new ache. It’s good, just makes everything from lifting my coffee mug to scaling the stairs a spectacle of “oohs” and jerks that make the girls throw back their heads with amused delight. I’m not bent on writing about working out though, it’s something else. It is using another set of muscles that has helped me rediscover the kind of high I get from overcoming the “I don’t want to work out malaise” and…

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Larger than life

Posted on November 16, 2009

The girls are getting bigger. Bigger in the sense of oh-my-god-are-their-feet-growing-by-the-minute and getting bigger with regard to how very much they understand. Disagreeing sparks unfamiliar nuance, a furrowed brow a trembling lip or a sudden scrambling for attention. WE are paying heed, but just as we think we get it, something new emerges. “Mom…” “Yes, baby?” I say as I examine an eyebrow. “Are you almost done, I’d like a little private time for potty.” Blue eyes as pure as the summer sky await my response. Shocked, I nod and scurry out of the room. There is role playing with, “I now declare thee husband and wife,” and “well, I’d like to, but I have to work.” Hey there, cat’s in the cradle. I…

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Mad About My Man

Posted on November 15, 2009

I have been know to wax euphoric about being a mom. I’ve written reams on breastfeeding, the mom/dad equation, and milestones. I’ve shared what little wisdom I’ve gleaned from the journey of 2 to 5. I’ve achieved neither fame nor money for what I’ve done, but man, I’ve loved it. The friendships, the memories captured in adjectives and thoughts. It has felt like full-bodied preservation of my life so far, until the other night. Sean has been getting together with two of his childhood friends. They sing, and as they do I writhe with self-loathing for not having that skill and butterflies for the hotness that is my husband singing crazy-sexy songs. Seriously, weak-in-the-knees, ready-to-release-cat-calls kinds of excitement. For my husband. Three kids, ten…

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Just beyond

Posted on November 11, 2009

Just beyond this photo waves a flag— on sunny days and in the darkest hours of the night, it is there. Outside the border of every photo. Along the edges of every memory. A key I neither fought nor asked for is there for me to use. I play with my kids, tuck myself into bed cuddled into the arms of my husband. Today I am acutely aware of how much others have sacrificed so that I can have this life of mine. I will remember. I will be grateful. I will give thanks. Today and beyond. .

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