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Meaning It

Posted on September 23, 2012

When I was in high school I had three very close friends. We would link arms in the hallway, while away hours outside of school playing Marco Polo and wondering wistfully about boys we had crushes on—it was a very sweet, simple time. Before things became marred by attacks, irrational boyfriends and the inevitable growing apart that happens in those emotion fraught years, there was very little that disturbed our union. Looking back, I see four girls who found comfort in one another, confiding about struggles with siblings or parents, building each other up with the ability to see one another’s strengths. I also see a younger version of myself who was quick to feel slighted and had a tendency toward not believing she…

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Unofficially Awkward

Posted on September 16, 2012

For as long as I can remember, trying to look sexy is something that I cannot do. Not that I’ve been trying to do it for that long, but I guess I always thought I’d get to an age/place/stage that would mark the time at which I was no longer so calamitously awkward. Last week Sean and I headed up to the lake for date night. It was spectacular—with no one on the lake, just enough sun to be gorgeous and just enough wind to cool. Sean was taking us out to putter in Northwest Bay and I was devouring the quiet. Everywhere I looked was more golden sparkle of sunshine on water and sparks of crimson in stands of tress. I gabbed my…

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Posted on September 10, 2012

Parenting reveals how often you move or, more specifically how often you didn’t move before. Your understanding of motion and stillness is forever altered. You bring your baby home and there is constant motion—scurrying for burp cloths, clanging about for gum gel, scrambling for a wipe. Then they are toddlers and your jerky movements are to swipe the lit candle from their reach, moving the cushion to break their fall, and swooping in to grab them before they actually kiss the back end of the strange dog. By the time grade school comes they are getting so fast that your movements are sometimes to keep up and other times it’s to hide the emotion when they say, “I’ve got it. I don’t need you,…

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As it happens

Posted on September 6, 2012

I’ve been watching the haloed, blurry-edged, emotion steeped photos of back to school for what feels like a month now. I’ve learned over these last four years of school that we are at the tail end of the back-to-school swing. I suppose at some moment I imagined that it would mean that I could crib from others and get my act together. The truth is that while I get the heads up that it’s coming, it doesn’t slow my schedule or change the way I conduct my life (which is really just code for: react to the things thrown at me and that I forget in the mayhem that is just-trying-to-get-by.) Honestly? There are still days when I wake up and think, “Ok, today…

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Posted on September 3, 2012

I love clouds. The other day I posted on Facebook about how clouds remind me of my grandmother. Today we took to the lake, a last sprint into the waning light of summer. We didn’t plan, packed light, and simply went where the day took us. From the start it was beautiful. Big, billowy clouds that even through the screen of my sunglasses, pierced straight to my heart. Memories, hope, and the gentle release of knowing how little my worries and I are. The sky, with its patchwork pattern of clouds and flirty, hard-to-get sun, tagged along. We motored North, passing our usual haunts of the Narrows and the Mother Bunch, past Sabbath Day Point and Huletts Landing. We didn’t slow until we hit…

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