Friday night I had my first workout since the accident. My stamina has been virtually non-existent and I did not want to discover that I would have to go slowly. I’d been hesitant to strike out and really test my body to see if I could do it. Then it occurred to me that the longer I kept my head in the sand, the likelier it would be that I would have to take baby-steps. I took a gamble and hoped that I’d waited long enough, but not too long.
Sean sent me out with his iPhone loaded up with songs that he said would, “get you up that mountain.” I walked the first 1/4 mile, my lungs burning a bit, but none of that tell-tale itch in my legs. The song changed and I began to run. I moved gingerly, nervous about an unsteady leg buckling beneath me. When it felt too intense I slowed and did walking high knees and slow-mos. I found myself returning to my peace, that place when my body takes precedence over my mind and I reach a kind of flow state.
Sweat begin to coat my body and I felt myself grin, my entire body was on fire and I was reminded that I am of the living. I am here.
And then, I did.
Knowing the run was nearly done my body moved back down the mountain easily and I smiled as I passed the path where we’ve hiked with the girls, looked further north to the place where Sean took me skiing and finally to the road ahead. Home.
A few days later I was driving to the store and the car ahead of me slowed. I tapped my brakes and waited. Two women on the tail end of a run were crossing the street. As they moved past the car I saw that one was younger, maybe early twenties, the other was older, early fifties. One moved a little faster, a little bit smoother and then the second caught up, running to match the other’s fast walk. I watched them look at each other after the car ahead of me sped forward and smiled as they slapped a celebratory high five. In the moment their hands met I knew they were a mother and daughter and I began to cry thinking of doing the same thing with my three girls one day.
Your body and mind can do so much more than you know.
Go find your peace, your can and then do it.