Holidays bring out the ache in even the oldest wounds, don’t they? I actually love twitter and facebook for that, they remind us through bite sized exclaims and updates that we all hurt. I’ve seen people talking about Christmas cries, aided by The Family Stone and Love Actually, and others talking about confronting estrangement, again. Before you know it your own worries are benched as you reach out to someone to day, “Eventually it will be more ok than it is today.”
I think we tend to get really angry at ourselves for not feeling all-consuming gratitude and goodwill during the holidays.
How shallow?
How weak?
Just get over it!
No, how normal! The truth is with a time so chock full of expectation and memory, a little internal turmoil is inevitable. As yet another cheerfully addressed envelope arrives in your mailbox and reinforces your failure at not having sent any and as you drive past another street with house after house decorated fancifully for the holiday and as the wrapping paper rips and the tape picks up pet hair and crumbs, stifle your rant. Or let it out. Either way, trust that you aren’t alone.
Truth is we’re all faking it, but just when you least expect it, that forced smile is going to get hijacked by real laughter. I promise.
Tagged: forgiveness
You speak the truth, friend. Thank you for that pure ray of light. I just wrote about the colliding memories that this particular holiday creates. Nope. We are not alone. Xo
Home is my contentment. Watching old home movies leaves me in a raging puddle. However, I awkwardly ripped so much paper and picked hair off the tape before I finally gave in and gave up. Wrapping paper: 56 Amy: 2. Thankfully we don’t have any exterior outlets so no decorations to mess with there. Simpler is better, always.
OH thank you so much for this. I am having a good holiday (and I don’t have to travel – YAY) but still, I struggle with the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. It’s as though I am always on the edge of falling out of feeling festive. It can be exhausting. Honestly, this year I think the reason it is good is because I’m being a bit of a slacker. Oh well. Thank you again for this – I really needed it!!!!
What a great post!! For me truth goes hand in hand with acceptance. Accepting myself and accepting where I am at and being grateful. Not always easy, but so liberating when I can do it!! Thanks again! Great to find your site, thanks for commenting on my site so I could find you!! I’m now following!!