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So Here We Are

Posted on November 17, 2016

I never felt without a doubt that Hillary Clinton would win. I certainly hoped, but I never took for granted that it was a done deal. I kind of wish I had, just so I could have enjoyed for a time the certainty that she would win and that we would have her at the helm. I feel cheated and bereft, tempted to stop caring almost as much as I am determined to stay engaged. I think the judgement about how it happened, what needs to happen, and who was responsible is exhausting. I try to look at it in a positive light, “Hey, ok, so everyone seems to care about things now,” but that isn’t true. A film has been peeled away and…

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Tuesday Isn’t the End

Posted on November 6, 2016

I have been writing online since 2003. When I go back to what I wrote in the early days I sometimes cringe, but I also have compassion for who I was and where I was. If we are really all works in progress, then to improve we have to have times, experiences, actions that weren’t the best—they, and we, could be improved. Last year I began writing with less restraint about feminism. I left the fear of judgement behind and allowed myself to put out anything that on my deathbed I would have wanted to say. Sometimes it left me feeling naked and nervous. Did I go too far? I would wonder, but then and now I feel that going too far is better…

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Country, Not Candidates.

Posted on November 4, 2016

This morning I woke up to read the story about Harvard immediately canceling the remainder of the men’s soccer team season as the result of a revelation of ongoing sexual harassment. It is a bold and unequivocal move, penalizing some who may not have participated. Or did they? Is not speaking up complicity? Was it only the soccer team or is it more prevalent as one female soccer player said? This behavior is unfortunately new, what is new is the effort to address. I have been grateful for Kirsten Gillibrand here in New York who has worked on how sexual assaults on college campuses and in the military are handled. You don’t have to look very hard to find the accounts of women who…

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From the first breath

Posted on November 3, 2016

I remember the way it felt when the ultrasound tech put the gel on my belly. I was not yet accustomed to the frequency and casual way that I would be expected to undress. Looking back I realize it was good preparation for a kind of naked vulnerability that never goes away once you are a parent. Fear, hope, longing to make things right and have everyone happy, it strips you bare.   This year I had to get an inhaler, my stress levels make it hard for me to breathe. It’s funny because all my life I’ve been so strong and healthy, and it’s literally my insistence to do it all that I cannot breathe. You’d think that would knock me into better behavior,…

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