I decided that I should put naptime to good use, unfortunately I just came up with a bunch of questions.
Why does the shower curtain liner always fold in on itself and get bitty mold spots no matter how diligently I spray it with cleaner, scrub and dry it?
What is the clear sticky substance that always glues down anything I put on the second shelf of the fridge?
Do I have stress induced bald patches in my eyebrows or do I suck at plucking?
Does the Garnier under-eye, silver ball thing I bought actually make a difference or do I just feel better for having tried something?
Does a 3rd cup of coffee make me weak?
Does Fin have any idea how much I love it when she clings to me?
Can I possibly protect Briar from inheriting the traits from me that have caused me the greatest heartache?
Exactly how long will it be before Avery breaks another bone?
Am I beginning to look like a ventriloquist doll?
Am I alone in wondering these kinds of things?
Updated to add:
Briar just said, as she stroked the front of my shirt, “Mom, your belly looks like it is just going big again. Like you are having another baby. Are you?”
Horror! At least I was alone. But damn, for the record—
Here’s what she pointed at:
And here it is in profile with no sucking in. It may not be taut, but expectant? Excuse me while I go and weep quietly in the corner as I imagine the things she’ll say when she is actually trying to hurt my feelings.
Not alone- amen to #1 and #2.
That is the least pregnant-looking stomach I've ever seen and ALSO? I will never have a picture taken beside you because I will magically morph into a hippo.
I didn't think you resembled a ventriloquist in any way until you showed me that picture. 🙂
Briar may need her eyes checked, Mama. That belly doesn't look a teeny big preggo to me.
If you and I were, like, really good friends and you knew I was saying this purely out of love and jealousy…I would say this:
Looking all skinny and perfect and wonderful!
And, then I would look at the above picture and feel much better.
Maybe Briar is just having some wishful thinking? Good Lord… I would die for that belly.
I second the, "you suck"! In the most loving way, of course. You look like you have never had kids…let alone one so recently. What's up with THAT? Also, where'd you get those jeans? I can't find any that aren't cut like, "mom jeans"..must not be looking in the right places.
The only thing that keeps me from melting into a pool of jealousy regarding the non-tummy is the ventriloquist doll pic! I am still laughing about that one!
Ditto what Beck said.
My dad was a ventriloquist. No crap. His "dummy" used to scare the bejesus out of me . . .
And no comment on the belly shot. Being a happily married dude, it may be read all wrong . . .
Good question(s). Funny how when we finally have a moment to rest, our minds won't.
And about that plucking…I can relate (sigh).
Run, don't walk to Target and buy a non-mold/non-mildew shower curtain liner.
And? I'll gladly switch my 3 children belly with you. For realz.
I'd like to know about that Garnier silver ball thing too. I may be tricking myself into thinking its working, but I haven't seen a difference.
And you look great Mama!
I think Briar might have been pointing at MY belly when she said that. Time for daddy to go for a run.
Great belly, and if I may say so also, nice rack. See? All better now.
Once when I was reading a story to Hannah, she kept looking at me instead of the book. I was thinking she was going to tell me how much she loved me. Instead, "Mommy, you have a lot of pimples."
Oh, please…Briar's eyes are not seeing that belly right! Your belly rocks.
I use that under-eye thing, too. Does it work? Who knows, but it feels pretty good.
If that's pregnant then I must be svelte. Was it opposite day at school?
dude, she would think I was having quintuplets.
I'm apparently 9 months along then. Can I trade you? No? I wouldn't want this either. 😉
But you ARE a riot. You're adorable and nothing like bigscaryassdoll. But FUNNY. Yes.
OK, I *JUST* blogged about E saying the same thing to me about my tummy.
But then I looked at your tummy and it basically looks like what my tummy had for dinner.
You are AMAZING. Beautiful. Fit. Strong. Lovely. Talented. Creative. Gorgeous.
Go on wit yer bad self, k?
Belly is fine. I actually want to bounce a quarter off it, on my way to that RACK!
Do you have a picture in that black shirt, you know the one with the 3/4 sleeves. ;-D
Oh, and I'd down play the ventriloquist thing… kinda scary… like clown scary.