I’ve been waiting to get healthy, waiting to have time, waiting to—

Then today I encountered a spate of posts, articles and tweets about not waiting until you are skinny, prepared or whatever-enough to do something. I was standing outside ruminating on it all with Beso, our puppy who hasn’t received nearly enough ink, as he did his lengthy process of preparing to do his business. There was no metaphor intended, but I did chuckle as I went from cheerfully cajoling him to “potty outside” to chirping, “c’mon buddy, little bit of pee, little bit of poop. Just. Shit. Already.” He was undeterred. I realized what he needed and what I need(ed) was a kick. I turned gave a whistle and proceeded to high-knee sprint up the slope of our driveway, easily powering through 2 feet of snow.

Beso followed in my foot steps, his little body crashing through my footprints, forcing him to catapult his body up, out and over the snow. The look on his face went from dubious to delighted. I measured my steps, careful not to hurt my back, but the burn and the need to focus gave me a release I haven’t had in a while. It’s time to reclaim the wheel and propel myself rather than accept the current and its direction.

Tonight that meant we danced and performed before bed. The girls each sang a song and then as we were ready to go up they told me it was my turn. My turn. I may write here about everything from childbirth to self-doubt, but I don’t sing in public. As they looked at me with total faith that I would get up and sing I figured why not. It’s the most accepting audience I could want and what’s the lesson in saying, “mom doesn’t sing?”

I sang. They clapped. We all smiled.

I think 2011, if I let it, is going to be filled with motion, new confidence and joy.

What are you going to let 2011 hold?