I’ve been waiting to get healthy, waiting to have time, waiting to—
Then today I encountered a spate of posts, articles and tweets about not waiting until you are skinny, prepared or whatever-enough to do something. I was standing outside ruminating on it all with Beso, our puppy who hasn’t received nearly enough ink, as he did his lengthy process of preparing to do his business. There was no metaphor intended, but I did chuckle as I went from cheerfully cajoling him to “potty outside” to chirping, “c’mon buddy, little bit of pee, little bit of poop. Just. Shit. Already.” He was undeterred. I realized what he needed and what I need(ed) was a kick. I turned gave a whistle and proceeded to high-knee sprint up the slope of our driveway, easily powering through 2 feet of snow.
Beso followed in my foot steps, his little body crashing through my footprints, forcing him to catapult his body up, out and over the snow. The look on his face went from dubious to delighted. I measured my steps, careful not to hurt my back, but the burn and the need to focus gave me a release I haven’t had in a while. It’s time to reclaim the wheel and propel myself rather than accept the current and its direction.
Tonight that meant we danced and performed before bed. The girls each sang a song and then as we were ready to go up they told me it was my turn. My turn. I may write here about everything from childbirth to self-doubt, but I don’t sing in public. As they looked at me with total faith that I would get up and sing I figured why not. It’s the most accepting audience I could want and what’s the lesson in saying, “mom doesn’t sing?”
I sang. They clapped. We all smiled.
I think 2011, if I let it, is going to be filled with motion, new confidence and joy.
What are you going to let 2011 hold?
I don’t sing in public either. EVER. I would sooner discuss details of my births, as you say, or a list as long as my arm of deeply personal things, than sing. But you have inspired me here with this story … so, maybe, maybe… I do like the idea of motion, new confidence, and joy. xox
Singing, not my strong suit. But yeah, I can think of several things I need to just get up and DO! Good for you!
Baby, you’re a firework!
Ah, yes. Singing is your Kryptonite. Someday I hope to have a few too many drinks with you and cajole a few notes out. Because I think secretly, since you sing from your heart, you’d sound better than any damn popstar any old day.
Lindsey, think beauty in motion.
BetteJo, here’s to doing!
Back at’cha Kristy!
Tell you what, Tet. You get yourself to a point where you aren’t radiant with child and have a good long chunk of time and the Denfords and Magess will go out. I can’t promise howling White Snake at The Garrison, but we’ll have some fun 😉
I used to say “I don’t dance.” And secretly really love dancing. It took realizing that pretty much EVERYONE who isn’t on TV looks like a tool when they’re dancing – including myself – to be able to let loose and have fun (though, yes, it generally takes some liquid confidence).
What’s that song – “I hope you daaaance” – so in this case, I hope you siiiiiing!
White Snake at the Garrison.
Let’s make it happen, Tet.
Motion, new confidence and joy – I love it. Now that’s something to focus on!
I’ve begun dancing and singing loudly with the boys…heck, without the boys!
Yesterday, Matt was talking about playing flag football in the spring and was assuming I wouldn’t play…I pretty much shocked him by saying that I would totally play flag football. It was a total ‘your mom rocks, you’d better watch out’ moment.
Yeah… you won’t catch me singing in public… but man, oh, man do we sing sing sing and dance here in the safety of our house.
I’m hoping for this year to be full of adventure, instead of anxiety. Maybe I need to kick it off with some singing in public!