A love hate relationship it has always been.It’s great hair, I’ve* just done disastrous things to it or nothing at all. Bad cuts are ok as a kid, or at least you can hide them.

Eugene, OR circa 1975

Circa ’75 w/bonnet

Circa ’79 Bowl-cut w/wicker

Circa ’79 w/towel

Circa ’81

My 1st Mullet

Today. Too dark, unstyled, increasingly silver.

This pose works much better w/a bowl cut.

I am at a complete and total loss as to what to do so I sent out a plea for help. A friend sent me this (she literally uses another language):

I have greys/whites by my temples and forehead. What I do, colour-wise that works for me (and I’ve tried absolutely everything under the sun, short of shaving all my damn hair off):

It’s called “baliage” (yeah, French for “I sound really expensive and arrogant”). Any stylist/colourist can do it. I usually get an overall colour that is a version of warm light brown, but what I ask for is to gradually lighten the colour towards the ends (especially underneath).. so that the ends look like they’ve been out in the sun. It doesn’t come out looking two-tone, it looks totally natural, and without that stripy-highlights look that starts at the root of your head and goes all the way down like traditional highlights do. So the stylist covers the greys adn most of the hair with that warmer colour and then gradually blends in a lighter shade/highlight colour towards the middle/end of the hair. The bonus is that even 4 months later, you can’t see my roots grow out and I still have grey coverage, along with the nicely highlighted bits. I love it.

Plus, with my square jaw and oval/long face, I have very long layers, and this colouring style works, because it doesn’t look too “done” and fussy. It works with any colour really, as long as the hair isn’t too light blonde.

Then I wrote to my cousin who is a Redken wizard. I sent this:

Ok, here’s a pic. The last time I got it done I asked her to make everything the color of my roots (a dark, ashy brown yikes) and to add a bit of red. The stylist made it that dark brown that looks purple in the sunlight. I hated it. So now I am wondering if I should go back to something lighter. The silver hairs make me sad. Also, it seems to be getting kind of wavy and unruly. I have a little cowlick on the front, today’s part is to the middle which is unusual. I am liking the length, but I get so jealous of women who look like they stay on top of their hair, I want it to look somewhat polished because of my job.
Ugh, I’m a mess, huh?

She responded with this:

First off you’re beautiful and not a mess!!!!
What I am hearing is you’re ok with the cut but if your color was right you would be over the moon!!!
She took you a bit dark.. No worries
Tell her you need a bit of demention
Would like your base to be a level 6 nbr!!
That is natrual brown red!! You look like a 5 or even a 4 right now so she should be able to put some light bits in under your part line and lift you a bit!!! Tone your light bits to a high 7 and you should feel better!!
Your cut is nice very hot right now I would take you to a texture bob!!!with a slight swoop bang!!!
Too bad I am so far away I would glam you out!!
Good luck send pics:)

I think I may share this entire entry with the next person to do my hair. Think it’ll translate? Scratch that, keep me company and tell me your hair woes.

*Note I do not hold my mom accountable for the cuts. xo