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Got My Eye On You

Posted on February 27, 2014

The moment they put Briar in my arms on that September morning I realized that I would never see anything the same. Watching her nurse, take her first bite of cereal, the expressions on her face as she felt spring rain, snow, and the fur of a kitten—I was riveted. I still am, but for the first time I am truly aware of how much she is watching me.   Please come find me at Scary Mommy today, where I am sharing a moment when Briar and I locked eyes and really talked about what we saw. As is her style, she taught me so much about shifting the microscope.

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10 Pick-me-ups That Cost Nothing

Posted on February 26, 2014

Raising three kids I get how easily one can fall into a couple of predictable traps: Rewarding good behavior with sweets. Rewarding good behavior with purchase. Depriving ourselves of time or forgiveness. When the girls perform well on an assignment at school, it comes home with a pack of Smarties taped to it. When they finish their reading assignments they get a coupon for Pizza Hut. Finley says, “If I’m good can I get a…” I get so frustrated, but do I do the same thing? Do we go out to dinner to break from routine? Pick up a little this or that at the check out? You bet. I began to wonder, do I do this with myself? Can I curb the behavior…

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Posted on February 23, 2014

Her middle name is Frost, after her maternal great grandmother, so it should have come as no surprise that she’d take to skiing. We made our way to Vermont early, the winter sun ricocheting spectacularly off of the wide expanses of snowy Vermont country side. It was one of those drives that leaves me quiet, awed by the privilege of living in a place so beautiful it will make you believe in a god, magic, and fairy tale endings. Keeping it real, by the 50 minute mark we were whiplashed back to the land of, “How many more minutes” and “Um, my tummy doesn’t feel so good.” We survived, hopeful feelings and breakfasts still intact. After gearing up and purchasing lift tickets we spent…

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My Sidekick: Guilt

Posted on February 20, 2014

We were on our way back from a wildly successful 3-day business trip when I called my mother-in-law to tell her we’d be by to get the girls in about five minutes. Finley answered the phone. “Hello, this is Finley speaking.” “Hey Fin, it’s mama,” I said with the side of my smile pressing into the phone. The familiar electricity of hearing her voice filling me with butterflies not unlike a first crush. “Mom, mom! Guess what?” she blurted. “What?” I asked giggling. “I lost my tooth.” My heart sank and my cheeks hollowed. “Not the one you worried I might lose, but a different one. It’s so weird, it just happened like a few minutes ago.” She was proud and exuberant, not at all…

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New (York) State of Mind

Posted on February 18, 2014

We arrived in the city mid-afternoon Sunday. The weeks behind us pocked with deadlines, presentations, performances and snow days. The trip was for work, with client meetings sandwiching sessions on intellectual property law and grant applications—not exactly a mental vacation, but that didn’t stop me from trying to find inspiration. Snow threatened in the forecast, but Monday broke with impossibly clear skies, the buildings seeming the stretch in sun salutations, and the sun, in return, winked off windows and ice. It was a day to fall in love—with the city, life, or just maybe, myself. Sean and I slipped away to Central Park and braved the icy slopes to, as he put it, go to “the one place in this damn city that looks…

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