Sean and I have a loose agreement that we can euthanize things from one another’s wardrobe. We don’t have to talk about it too much, great detail isn’t necessary. We just have to affect an expression of pain or discomfort, cock a shoulder and say, “You need to not wear that anymore.” Having this agreement has saved us from awkward, “Uh-huh, I love you in that outfit,” lies. Every once in a while though, we are taken aback by a suggestion to add something to the donate pile.
I was most recently on the receiving end. We were on our way somewhere and as we stood in our makeshift mudroom, Sean picked up a pair of sandals.
“You can’t wear these to the office anymore,” he said very emphatically.
“What? Oh, ok. Are they not dressy enough?” I asked.
He snorted. “No, it’s not that. You just can’t wear them anymore.” He looked at me and nodded his head. “Ever.”
“Ok,” I agreed.
“You can replace them,” he said, “But you can’t wear them,” he explained as we walked to the car.
A couple of days later we were sitting at a corner table for two. He grinned at me and then started chuckling. “Do you appreciate me?” he asked with the most satisfied and impish look on his face.
“Yes, of course,” I said as he looked into space chortling.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“No, seriously, what? Why are you laughing?” I asked.
“The sandals. Aren’t you grateful?”
I sat up and leaned toward him. “Wait a minute, are you laughing about the sandals?” He nodded. “And you want me to thank you?” He nodded and laughed more.
“No, you don’t get to eliminate them from my closet AND have me laugh with you about it. What is it they do to me anyway?”
He sat up looking a little more serious. “Never mind, it’s ok.”
“Ok, I can wear them or ok I don’t have to appreciate you for them?” He could barely keep a straight face as I waited for an answer.
“You really want to know?” he asked. It was my turn to nod.
He grimaced in a way that was half-smile and said, “Ok, you can’t because you look like something out of Portlandia in them.”

Yup, that’s my marriage, loving Portlandia jabs. Sean and I are going to continue writing our #marriedwithopinions posts. To celebrate giving the voice(s) of marriage a place to be heard, I am doing a little giveaway in exchange for your stories. We’ll call it the the hope set.
The first part is a One Rainy Wish candle from the delicious Porch Light Shop, they are serendipitously located in Portland 😉 I am currently burning their Field of Grass candle and it is divine!
Second, a custom Magee sign with the word of your choice. Pick from laser-cut, metal letters, hand-hewn wood letters, hand-painted, or a combination of the three with the word of your choice. We’ll put it on a funky piece of wood and ship it to you.
To enter:
Like the Amanda Magee, Writer page on Facebook.
Share a tweet about this post and leave me a link in the comments.
Leave me a “One time my partner said” story in the comments.
Next Saturday Sean and I will read your stories and we’ll send the author of the most cringe-worthy or laughter inducing story a sign and the luscious One Rainy Wish Candle.
Can’t wait to hear your stories!
Tagged: #MarriedWithOpinions
Hah! My husband and I do EXACTLY the same thing in relation to wardrobe choices. However, I must say that I have to nudge him more often about his clothes/shoes than he does me about mine. 🙂
It’s a tender thing to do for one another. I feel shaky now, I thought these sandals skirted and escaped what he accused me of in his explanation. The thing is, not twenty minutes ago he was reading this post and laughing until he was fighting for breath. Marriage, it’s an odd, amazing thing.
My husband and I use the “you stink” and “your toothbrush needs to be used” without a second thought. Without some sort of that honesty, marriage can feel so hard.
**Just as a thought though, we aren’t dirty, stinky, no toothbrush using people…. I promise!! 🙂
Ha! I didn’t think that you were. Someone once said, “Never turn down a mint,” I think teeth brushing suggestions fall into that category!
One time my partner said…
Nothing. I think in the silence sometimes I can hear his voice praying to God that I don’t wear something. But he has never, not once, said anything negative about my clothes or my appearance. No, I take that back. I went through a period of “scrunching” my hair to make it curly. It was awful. It looked like bad bed hair mixed in with a stay on a psych ward with no hair brush or conditioner. He suggested I wear a hat…
I know that hair, boy do I know it.
I told Amanda that she looked amazing. Like, Olivia Newton-John at the end of “Grease” amazing. But from the ankles down she looked like my Aunt Betty.
I feel like my wardrobe commentary about you is never quite as descriptive as yours is of mine…
Ack! Can’t think of anything as a comment so I know I won’t win, BUT I must have one of those signs. I am a new-ish reader and hadn’t seen them before. Do you have an etsy shop? Thanks!
Ha! That’s ok, KateB. We used to have a store, but we closed it. I’m sure we could work something out 😉
I bet your feet looked darling in those sandals:)
Once, when I was pregnant with my first child, my husband said he was worries that a family would hurt his career.
Honestly. Marriage, right?
One time my partner said (or maybe more than once)… “Please don’t wear that anymore, it makes your boobs look weird.”
Usually that he says nice things when he likes something I wear, and nothing when he doesn’t. But sometimes I guess I just push him over the edge. hahaha
Nice to know he is looking out for me, though. 🙂
Absolutely!
I am not very Twitter savvy but here is my link 🙂
https://twitter.com/CynthiaM1976/status/462302901151363072