Whew! A whole lot less emotional today.

Sean and I spent a whole 7.5 minutes having dinner together last night. In a moment of empty fridge and bare cupboard artistry and genius, he managed to whip together a remarkably tasty pizza. The only thing that would have improved the meal would have been a reprieve from the unrelenting humidity. Soupy is how my boss describes it. That really just makes my stomach turn, but it’s kind of true. Anyway, after our relatively leisure meal (Briar was in her crib upstairs trying to work things out – mostly through tears and wailing – we ate without having to fend off her adorable hands, which sometimes make you feel like you are in one of those fight scenes from The Matrix) I went upstairs to try and get Briar to go to sleep.

She is an amazing little person with a truly irresistible personality. I think this is why we struggle so much with her sleeping patterns. We have rarely had anything to complain about with Briar: no fussing to speak of in the way of teething; no colicky baby stories; no refusal to eat or significant fear of strangers etc. Sleeping in her crib, and before that her bassinet, has always been an issue. Last night was no different. After three nights of going down without much trouble she decided she was just not going to do it. She sobbed and kicked her feet. After about 30 minutes I picked her up, cradled her in my arms and let her nurse.

Sean came up and started playing guitar. She is so fascinated with music, especially when Sean is the one making it. She stood up and held onto the guitar, alternately plucking the strings and patting the body of the guitar. Sean kept on playing and eventually she just sat and watched him. We let this go on for a while and then I gave her some hugs, kisses and night nights before setting her in her crib.

Drama. Screaming, kicking, arching her back, standing and holding the side of the crib imploring us to just let her out. I kept putting her back on her side, rubbing her feet and legs. Every so often she would have to cut short one of her cries to let loose an enormous, full body yawn. She fights and fights sleep and then BOOM, she sighs and goes down. I think we both wish we could help her get to the last step quicker. Nobody enjoys the process of getting there. For now, we’ll just keep on trying to help her get there as gently and patiently as we can.

This morning Briar was once again her charming and intoxicating self. There is something about the way she grins at us in the morning, rolling back and forth to touch us, putting her hand upon our faces or necks that just shoots straight through me. I love coming back from the shower to see the two of them cuddling. This morning she was sitting up when I came back and Sean was just sitting with her. It was a nice, easy, unrushed morning. I think that helps with saying goodbye. When Dot held her at the window today it was a little easier. Sean rode into work with me and just knowing that I didn’t have to drive away alone made me feel so much better.

Hopefully today will continue to be a better day!