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Of broken banks and dance floors

Posted on January 23, 2008

Our kitchen is beginning to resemble a kitchen again. Granted, the odd slope of the cockeyed counter and the gaping space beneath the sink make it oddly reminiscent of the break room at the Delftree Factory where I toiled as a carpenter for the Williamstown Theatre Festival so many years ago, only now instead of chain smoking I am popping banana peppers like it’s my job. The girls have loved every stage of the renovations, from watching mom and dad tear the walls down, “Mama, are you ‘uh-posed to break da walls?” to being carried through the room to protect their feet from the mercilessly splinter throwing floors. Today we celebrated a milestone of sorts with more fresh hardwood floor being laid than not.…

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Tomorrow

Posted on January 21, 2008

It’s a simple word, really. A chance to delay, a fresh start, the next thing. What I forget sometimes is that it isn’t a promise. Today I have. Today I am here, but tomorrow, that’s not yet mine. It’s funny because I spend so much of my time dreaming about tomorrow, fretting about it, and yet I rarely worry whether it will come or whether I will be there to meet it. Whymommy has got a big day tomorrow. Today I am writing for her. Susan, who graciously shared her name with us, after she invited us into her life, is having surgery, a double mastectomy, to be exact. She has two children, an adoring husband and brilliant mind. I am thinking of her…

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Never to be spoken

Posted on January 20, 2008

I think there are a lot of times when we parents, particularly moms, sugar coat reality. We may hold back a few details from first-time moms. There are things that just don’t feel right to utter out loud like when you are so fatigued form nursing and cuddling that when they cry out in the night you cringe in the darkness. Or you sit coloring with your child all the while wishing you could just curl up with a Diet Pepsi and page through the Real Simple that has been gathering dust in the corner. These aren’t pretty feelings, nor are they the predominant feelings. Most of the time I am unapologetically and indefatigably passionate about being Mom. I revel in the dependence, the…

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Soaring Kicks

Posted on January 20, 2008

As surely as this baby grows inside of me, our girls are growing up outside of me. The walls echo with “Uh myself, uh myself” and “Not right now.” Each kick that tickles at my belly throws a bright light on the fading milk moustaches that kiss their upper lips. Briar’s face lengthens by the minute, cheekbones emerging and revealing an architecture of beauty that already steals my breath, her strong legs lead up to hips and a waist that I can see traveling away from me, the arm of a suitor blocking her waist from my view. And Avery, oh how my Avery is sprinting. Sprinting to an autonomy of thought and movement that stuns me. She is without fear, which makes the…

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