I am sitting in an incredibly comfortable chair, there isn’t a sound save the odd sigh from Fin as she sleeps in the bed behind me and the occasional whiz of a passing truck on the street below. I am showered with freshly shaved legs, I have a stack of magazines I could be reading. The laptop is here, fully charged and ready to go. There is no dinner to make, no laundry to wash or fold or even put away. No dishes. No toys. No shedding dog, no ringing phone. My to-do-list was so very short I finally used the Biore strip that’s been kicking around for six months. I can watch anything I want at whatever volume I want, I can eat PB&Js for dinner.
I hate it!
I want my chaos back. I want my girls, hungry and cranky, tired and demanding. I want three separate requests for dinner from one child and two from another. I want particular nightgown requests and relentless begging for the singing of songs with lyrics I do not know. I want a late husband and a messy house. I want junk mail cluttering the counter and empty Triscuit boxes on the floor.
I am sitting here tonight without a care in the world wishing more than anything in the world that someone would say, “Please, will you stay and cuddle with me for one little minute?”
I miss home.
Sean. Briar. Ave. Babies, Fin and I are coming home in two nights and I cannot wait. I love you.