A few weeks ago, maybe even a month now, I posted an entry on Facebook that had something to do with going for a run and feeling kick ass about it. That wasn’t it, but the point is that in the string of comments it turned into a big roar. Young friends, older friends, close friends, distant friends and I think even some of those “accept as friend”s but-you-don’t-really-know-who-the-hell-they-are, friends. It got me to thinking that maybe we need a little more roar, or, more specifically a little more license to roar. On the last day of this month I’ll turn 36, which isn’t a huge deal, but… I’m increasingly aware of the you’ll-look-back-and-wish-you’d-been-kinder-to yourself tsk-tsking. Or worse the realization that like the asshole…
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I’ve been struggling with how to describe the ache, it is as intense and consuming as anything I’ve ever felt, from mourning to puppy love. I suppose, in a sense, it’s both. Finley is nearly fifteen months old and in less than 30 hours I will leave for 3 days for BlogHer 2009. I did it last year, but she came with me. She was on my chest the entire time. She nursed happily, cooed contentedly through sessions and gave me something upon which I could legitimately focus if, say, I got terrified by a phalanx of bloggers I admired in the hotel hallway. It was also sinfully decadent time alone with her, as her older sisters stayed back at home with Sean. This…
Categories: Me
Denise put out a tweet about a post Shash (say it shushy and breathy like Posh) did regarding BlogHer. It was brilliant in its “Let’s-have-a-little-fun-but-offer-some-pearls-at-the-same-time theme.” I pledged to lift the idea and use it here. The difference with the Primer About Amanda for BlogHer is I am not technically going to BlogHer. I went last year and had an experience I’ll never forget. It wasn’t like Mrs. Flinger’s, but it was incredible. This year I am flying to Chicago, but have no pass to the conference, though I did diligently sign up for the waitlist. I’ll be shacking up in the conference hotel with the sure-to-be-divine Mommentator and the I-bet-she’ll-be-awesomely-fiery Texas Red , this is to say, I’ve never met either of them.…
Categories: Me
It’s been more than a year since I wrote about the heartache of life’s demands. It’s actually the heartache of my own desires, but that is so hard to admit, isn’t it? Whether you are a mom or a wife, a civil servant or a student, to admit when you desire to have something or do something that has nothing to do with altruism or good will, but really just comes down to this is what I want. Sean and I have gone round after round about time, whether it’s time for ourselves to work on projects unencumbered or to simply be together. He can say it without guilt or hesitation, “I miss my wife” or “I want some non-kid time.” I can barely…
Categories: Mama Sap
Ok, this is an assignment. No, wait, maybe it’s more of a request… A plea? A bewildered shot in the dark maybe. What do you do when people insist on competing? This is not about my family, our best friends, our partners or our co-workers, so exhale and read on 😉 Seriously, what do you do when you find yourself in a situation wherein people are measuring themselves against you and foisting this bit of information or that on you so as to assert some sort of dominance? Do you lavish praise? Reassure them through your words that the focus is on them, that they are in fact the most amazing people of all? Because honestly, it exhausts me, I have what I want,…
Categories: Me