It’s January in the Adirondacks. It’s mid fifties outside. They’re calling for temps in the 60’s this weekend.

A sled came in the mail for the girls today.

“Ooh, mommy, look. Get in. Get in Mommy, get in?”

“Yeah baby, that’s a sled. You can get in.”

“Goin’ outside now mommy, k?”

“No, honey. We have to wait for snow. When the snow comes we can go on it outside.”

“Shown. Shown soon, Mommy?”

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

I’ll admit I don’t know a whole lot about the state of the environment and how grave things really are. Seems like back in college I tried to stay somehwat abreast of the issues, if not for actual interest than at least to fulfill the role of, by outward appearance, issue driven college student. Now there is so much with just trying to get out the door in the morning and fed before bed, that reading a paper, watching a movie or listening to a lecture seems so trivial. I swear to god this parenting thing and learning life lessons every day is kickiing my ass. Just when you figure something out a new piece is added and you are left with a smarting backside and an awareness that you are doing it all wrong.

I am realizing that there really should be snow outside. I mean like a lot of snow. Like already hate-the-shovel amounts of snow. But there isn’t. And now I look at our girls and think, what the hell is happening? What can I do?

Our house is doing 1 of every 5 bulbs with the swirly, loopy energy efficient bulbs. I hate how long they take to light up, but appreciate knowing that I am not a total jack ass bleeding energy. We buy 75% organic. And that ain’t cheap, but damn the meat scares and the thought of chemicals going into the girls turns my stomach. We have two cars but really only drive one. We have at long last started recycling. But we use disposable diapers. Our washer and fridge are energy efficient, the dryer, stove and dishwasher are not.
So I don’t know, does it make a difference?

An Inconvenient Truth came in today’s mail. I am pledging to dig my head out the sand. I have to as a parent to two people that have no guilt in what’s happened so far. Hopefully we can lead by example. Hopefully they’ll be proud. Hopefully it’ll make a difference. Hopefully we’re not too late.